I have the original ones and am wondering if the toe bed is shorter on the women's sandals?

I'm not sure since I own two pairs of the women's. I've never tried the unisex.

Just got a pair. Seems the padded arch is way too noticeable - almost hard to walk. Do they "break in" somehow?

Yes, in time they will form to your foot. These are the most comfortable shoes I've ever owned. I have four pair.

Are the soles soft like the crocs? Or are they hard?

soft, you feel like your are walking on clouds with support..no more foot pain. I just love them and wear they daily. They were recommended by my foot Dr.

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