How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk Paperback – 5 Dec. 2012

I literally never leave reviews but I HAD to write a review for this book. It is honestly the most helpful, practical, thought provoking book on parenting - if you are considering buying it PLEASE DO! It’s helped me so much and I genuinely believe every parent should read it - especially if you have children who are 8/9/10 years old and have become a little tricky. I will absolutely be getting the teenage one when my children are older.

And the other one to be "Playful Parenting".I have read "How to talk..." three times now. The first time when my son was approaching his 1st birthday.Than a year latter when I discovered lots more that I could put into practise with my then toddler.He is 3 now, I just finished reading the book for the 3rd time and am amazed that such a small and simply written book can be so brilliant and give me something new each time I read it.To give you an example of how simple are the tools of communication offered by this book: Both my husband and I have made it a second nature to offer our son a choice (of no more than two options, as any more would be too much for him) in everything that he tries to avoid, object, refuse. For example, he doesn't like to wash his hands. So we ask him would he like to wash his hands in the downstairs or upstairs loo. If he is still difficult, than his choice is to either wash his hands or have a shower. He is not fond of water in any form and always chooses the hand wash. Ont he other hand, when we want him to have a shower his choice is a shower or a bath. When hair washing is in order, his choice is rinsing by dipping in the bath watter with mummy supporting his head or slow shower over his hair. He feels he is in charge and we get the job done without dramas.Equally describing his (and our) feelings gives amazing results in achieving great communication. We only ever had about 3 tantrums which were quickly and painlessly resolved using techniques from "How to talk..." and "Playful Parenting".If there was a choice I would give not just five but a hundred stars to both this books. Would recommend them to anyone dealing with children (or adults) in personal or professional life.

This is a clear and helpful book on parenting skills and listening to your children.My only problem with this is for Amazon Kindle - this book has comic strip pages to demonstrate role plays - on kindle it is tiny to see even when font enlarged. Later on the flip side, there are pages of assignments for you to 'write' in your own experience or response - obviously not possible on kindle - but these pages dont fit on the kindle properly unless the font is squished down to the smallest size. So the reader has to repeatedly change the font settings to read either the comic strips or the assessments. Couldn't kindle adjust this better? and if not, why cant Amazon tell us that parts of the script are difficult to access in this format? I would prefer to know such information before buying. However this book is worth reading anyway!

I've read a number of childcare books - Green, Biddolph et al - and find that they're full of solutions for loads of specific problems that aren't quite your problem. Useless, in other words. This one is different - it changes the whole philosophy of how one deals with kids. We spent hundreds on a child psychologist - money that I'm sure would have been saved if we'd read this first. The book had languished in a drawer for a while; then I happened to pick it up and read it (much of it twice) while my wife and kids were away one week. It was as though a lightbulb had turned on in my head - it made so much sense, and just filled in the gaps that I couldn't quite seem to work out for myself. (Seems so obvious in hindsight.) Despite all the warnings by the authors that it would take time and practice, I tried it out - and it just worked, 100%, from day one. Cooperative kids, anger calmed almost before it starts, problems solved without arguments - and trust and respect generated more or less instantly. Incredible. I know it sounds over the top, but I was so exhilarated with relief at having found a solution after years of struggling and arguing that when I saw how effective it was I was just laughing like a kid myself, and almost high for a week as I watched its magic at work. If you're one of the lucky ones for whom all of this stuff is instinctive, good for you. For the rest, well, it should be compulsory reading before even thinking about having kids.

If you're looking for a quick fix to communication problems with your kids, this book isn't it. Instead, it encourages you get your thinking cap on and really engage with how you communicate with your children - and how they communicate with you. I was a bit sceptical and first. Ideas like not asking your children questions just seemed a bit odd ... but it actually really does work! You interrogate, you generally get nothing back. But by saying "Tell me about it when you're ready", I'm finding I'm getting a much more interesting and informative response from my son. And the section on Descriptive Praise is an absolute revelation. My kids are only 4 and 2, but I hope that by starting to use these techniques early, I'm making a positive step to better communication as they get older. Its not always easy, because you really do need to be prepared to think and change your approach. Not always achievable in the heat of the moment! But practice makes perfect as they say, so I just keep coming back, reading and re-reading, and making little adjustments as we go. And they are definitely working. Nicely written, friendly and approachable, not too "American-ese" either, Highly recommend.