His Porn, Her Pain: Confronting America's PornPanic with Honest Talk About Sex

Dr. Marty Klein is an astute observer of all things sexual. In this superb book, he pulls no punches as he dissects the many myths about pornography. His concept PornPanic addresses how many Americans--and the media--deal with porn. He is right in his view that Internet porn has brought lust and sex into America's homes at virtually no cost. Parents can use porn--and this book--to address sex in an open manner. For too long, porn and sex have been relegated to a hush hush approach in the home and in the school. This book should assist parents and teachers in their attempt to be relevant about sex.Porn is not a public health hazard. Politicians--many of whom are uptight hypocrites themselves--are flushed into the light of day in this book. No longer can they push porn and sex under the proverbial rug. Porn is fantasy. Porn can improve sex in real time with real people. Dr. Klein is clear and he gives examples from his sex therapy clients. As a sex therapist, I appreciate his many insights. He points out that most porn does not demean women. He obliterates many myths about porn--and sex--in this excellent tome. In the end, porn is more a paper tiger than a raging menace to kids and adults.Dr. Klein addresses and is empathic with women who feel they are being compared with porn stars (they are not). As a sex therapist, I know that what he writes is helpful to professionals and the lay public alike. His commonsense and clarity shed more light than heat on porn and sex. He correctly emphasizes that there is no such thing as porn and sex addiction. The media would do well to digest this book so they stop spewing out myths in the name of facts. Well done!

Pornography: the good, the bad, the ugly, and just plain common senseStarting with a historical perspective, Dr. Marty Klein leads us through a labyrinth of confusing beliefs, attitudes, ideas, and sexual practices leading up to the moment in American history where suddenly high quality porn became readily available in every household. How could our culture be ready for such an overstimulating onslaught? The resulting PornPanic has left us with conflicting and dizzying results that Marty sorts out with honest, no-nonsense talk. He effectively focuses on how we can manage and talk about these often volatile issues as they arise in our intimate relationships and with our children.Neither for nor against pornography, Dr. Klein analyzes our current confusion and panic with illuminating results and many hopeful prospects. Most meaningful to me as a psychotherapist are the numerous recountings of conflictual and deeply personal dilemmas that Marty has had an opportunity to help people with as a long-time therapist.This iconoclastic shattering of numerous time-honored shibboleths of sexual desire, fantasy, behavior, pleasure, and intimacy inhibition leads us through the myriad confusions surrounding sexuality into a creative and optimistic view. This wonderful and helpful book--brilliantly conceived and written--is an apt followup to Dr. Klein's other books on couples issues and sexual dilemmas including his recent Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex, and How to Get It.HIS PORN, HER PAIN is a must-read for all of us caught in the overwhelming effects of the ongoing sexual revolution and witnessing the dismaying effects of the PornPanic in ourselves, our sexuality, and our children.Lawrence E. Hedges, PhD, PsyDAuthor, Sex in Psychotherapy

I bought this book to better understand some of the “pros” of porn watching, and to gain some male vs. female perspectives on the whole issue.Not sure who this book was written for, but if I had to guess, it’s written for men in order to make them feel better about watching porn. The book is undeniably biased and fails to fully address any of the cons. In my opinion, a good book includes and addresses all the facts, instead of brushing off the ones you don’t like because “not everyone” is affected. The author also seems to have a special issue with women who don’t share his point of view—frequently calling out/exampling “radical feminists.” Instead of tackling common hang-ups surrounding porn using compassion and understanding, he berates readers if they don’t “get it.”Example:“If you’re smart enough to realize you can’t compete with JLo or JLaw, why would you feel compelled to compete with Candye Kisses or Rosie Cheex?”Not only is it problematic to assign a smart/not smart label to someone for having emotional issues with porn, he also slapped those silly names onto the porn actors as if they’re cartoon characters instead of professional women. Yes, some women choose names like that. But overall, that is a lame representation of women in the industry. This one example shows how disconnected he is from women, whether on the acting side or the viewing side. There are many other examples like this throughout.There are useful parts of the book, and he’s not wrong that the world does seem to generally be in a state of panic over human sexuality. But overall, the author’s misogynistic tone, know-it-all attitude, and failure to fully address the cons of porn watching (and the research available on negative side effects) left me feeling grossed out by the book.

Excellent book, if you're struggling in your relationship with sex, intimacy, communication, or porn use, I definitely recommend reading this book. It will help to open your eyes to the underlying issues that are at the core of what's wrong, and how to approach them better. It showed me where I was wrong in some areas, which I regret, and how to be a better partner. NOTE: If your partner has an adversion to porn, the title of the book will scare them off as they will BELIEVE it validates only one side of the argument.

It's the most eye-opening book I've ever read on porn- this sensitive subject. It brings more light to the matter.

Makes you pause and think - exactly what a good book should do, even if you end up disagreeing with the message. Glad I read it.

Condense it somewhat. Boring repetitive

Thoroughly recommend women who are struggling with these issues to read this book. It gave me a whole new perspective on why this presents problems in relationships and more importantly what to do about it. Also recommend their partners read it to to understand how women feel and what the REAL issues are.