How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (The How To Talk Series)

Book was pretty good, confirmed a lot of what I was doing but also gave me some great pointers. Worth the read! Get it and have a better relationship with you kiddos!

I didn’t expect this book to change how I talk to people as much as it did and not just kids. This book sounds like one of those generic parenting books, but it’s actually super practical and weirdly eye-opening. What I liked most is that it doesn’t just say “be patient” or “validate feelings” in a vague way. It literally gives you scripts. Like actual examples of what to say instead of the usual things that come out of your mouth when you’re annoyed. For example, instead of arguing with a kid about why they shouldn’t be upset (“It’s not a big deal”), it teaches you to acknowledge the feeling first. Just that shift alone makes such a difference. I realized it’s kind of wild how much calmer situations get when someone feels heard. The book is example-heavy which I appreciated. There are little cartoons and comparisons of the usual way we talk vs. a more helpful way. And when you see them laid out like that, you realize how often adults escalate things without meaning to. A lot of the old school responses are things most of us grew up hearing with minimizing, lecturing + bribing. The authors show why those don’t work long-term. Another big takeaway for me was the idea of describing the problem instead of attacking the child. It sounds small, but it removes the shame element. Same with giving choices instead of commands; it gives kids some control without letting them run the show. The book is not preachy. The tone is real and acknowledges that parents (or adults in general) get frustrated. They even include stories of their own mistakes. That made it feel way more relatable instead of like an unrealistic manual. What surprised me most is that the techniques don’t just apply to kids. They honestly work with partners, coworkers, pretty much anyone. It’s really about communication and respect. The core message is that when people feel understood, they’re more likely to cooperate. That seems obvious, but we don’t naturally do it. If I had one small critique, it can feel a little repetitive at times because they really drill the concepts in. But I also get why, the book calls for a mindset shift, and not just a quick tip.

First time I read this book, my eyes started to sweat as the examples of how not to talk to kids leapt from the page into my heart's throat with memories of the past. There is not a parent alive who hasn't made mistakes, who wishes that they had made different choices, who wants to take back the hurt they caused their little ones. This book aligned with my priorities as a parent, to help my children become the best decision makers that they can possibly be, to be free thinkers. There are tons of tips and tools in this book that help parents and children listen, feel important, open up and encourage independence. One great tip was not riddling your kids with questions but eliciting conversation with responses that allow children, teenagers and young adults to share more without feeling like they are on a quiz show. It's amazing to me how much my boys tell me if I just give them the chance to talk to an attentive father. FYI to all you husbands out there... these conversation tools work on wives and co-workers too. Another fact that really hit home for me that I'm able to put into everyday practice is, a parent should punish with "natural consequences" that fit the "crime". I remember as a kid getting spanked for doing something wrong... don't even remember what the infractions were... it may have been, not putting something away or lying. In any case, getting swatted for infractions is not what happens in real life. Physical punishment just creates animosity and the desire for revenge. What happens in the real world is, if you don't take care of your friend's belongings... they stop loaning them to you. If you lie, people stop believing you. Children should suffer similar consequences for their own infarctions within a family unit. These types of life lessons when taught to children can shape character... these lessons can reshape yours.

Bought as gift. Recipient very pleased.

Me lo recomendaron en un hospital de referencia de EE.UU., y es realmente bueno. Las recomendaciones son buenísimas, y explicadas de manera amena, dinámica, muy práctica y, muy importante, sin culpabilizar a quienes lo hacíamos regular hasta ahora. Lectura altamente recomendable para padres, profesores, entrenadores.. y en general, para cualquiera con ganas de aprender a entender y hacerse entender por niños y adolescentes!!

Just think about what it is you tell your kids during a normal day. Isn't it mostly orders and no? Think about it and start to really talk to your kids. And how do you react when your kid tells you something? By giving advice and telling your kid what YOU think (is the right thing to do, to say, etc)? Try saying nothing instead and just listen. This are two key advices I found very helpful, simple and was able to use immediatly. I first bought this book as an e-reader edition, but absolutely had to have the printed edition. Not so much to do the assignments, but more to work on it with markers and stickers. I will keep it close to make sure I read it over and over again because many of the advices might not fit it right now, but will for sure come in handy later on.

Very informative! Opens your eyes and changes the way you talk and engage woth kids

It's quite amazing how good this book can work. It is very easy explained and it has a lot of draws and examples. It's also very realistic: It never sells magic solutions, nor says everything will work for everybody. So, it's like being in a workshop with another parents, but in your home and in your own.