How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Easy to read, engaging, and full of practical value. This book feels like a manual you can come back to over and over again. I love how each chapter is summarized in just one page- it makes reviewing and retaining the information so much easier. It’s also very interactive, with images that keep you engaged and help break down concepts visually. The book constantly encourages you to think, reflect, and apply what you’re learning, which makes a huge difference. There are plenty of real-life examples, along with testimonials, quotes, and insights from other professionals. That added perspective makes the content feel well-rounded and credible- not just one person’s opinion. I finished it in 3 days, and that was just reading a little at a time. I’m not a parent and I don’t work with kids, but I’ve applied these methods in my relationship, and they’ve genuinely improved communication. That said, this is not instant. It takes time, effort, and a lot of practice. The hardest part is retraining your brain and unlearning the patterns most of us grew up with. Small tip for readers: I use a gray highlighter instead of yellow because it feels less overwhelming and doesn’t make me feel like I’m ruining the book. I also prefer using sticky notes instead of writing directly on the pages. If you do this, lightly reduce the stickiness before placing them as these pages are thin (paperback), and they can tear easily. At the end of the day, we never really stop being kids- this book helps you understand that on a deeper level and I think that is way the methodology works. Highly recommend. Honestly, this should be taught in schools.

This book will change your life if you are a mother or father it is a must read and learn from book. Absolutely love it.

This book became my parenting "Bible" when my kids were younger, along with "Siblings Without Rivalry" (by the same authors), which is another must-have. I just happened to pick this up in a bookstore many years ago, and have been recommending it ever since. I should say here, that I was a School Psychologist, who also utilized these communication skills when dealing with students. I read where someone said in their review "Nothing I didn't know". Well, we all know some pieces of it...not to scream, not to belittle, not to condemn...but not everyone knows what to do instead. It's also important that you remember the title of the book is "How To Talk So kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk". It's about communicating better, and improving interpersonal skills. If you have a problem with your child seriously abusing drugs, then I'd suggest that you read this while your child is receiving appropriate treatment. It's not a "cure-all' for every possible issue.... although many (myself included) would say that poor communication can certainly be a causal factor behind many other "behaviors". Once you understand & integrate the authors concepts, they make perfect sense, and the authors make understanding simple, by presenting the material in an easy-read/comic form with a multitude of examples. After all, conscientious, loving and well-meaning parents need help, too, and this book can provide just that. If you just feel like you're not connecting with your child, and they're turning away from you rather than allowing you to be a support for them, try reading this. You don't have much to lose (a little time reading & a little bit of $) and you might find that a small change in YOUR behavior can lead to a big change in theirs (I did), and open the door to better communication....not to mention a more satisfying & less stressful family life. What could be better than that?

Excellent book until one gets to the final chapter titled "The Next Generation" written by Adele Faber's daughter. A more apt title for this chapter is "How to Negotiate with your Children... and Erase any Boundaries between Parents and their Children." I took to heart everything Adele Faber suggested to talk with and listen to my child better. Her suggestions have worked and our child seems much happier, talkative and her confidence has gone up, as well as ours as parents. We are in a much better place as a family then where we were before we read this book. However, it will be a cold day in h*ll before I implement Faber's daughter's suggestions. There will not be a table manner compromise 3xs a week as a solution where we all elect to eat with our hands instead because our child doesn't like using utensils. We will model how to use them; we will encourage her and we will let her know that our values as a family is that we have polite table manners whether we are at home eating at our own dinner table or elsewhere. Faber's daughter's description of agreeing to "wait in the car" and miss her mother-in-law's funeral because her "tomboy" daughter refused to dress in appropriate attire for the formality of the event is also insane and a non-starter. I took particular offense at her use of the descriptor "tomboy" which like "sensitive" to describe a boy is outmoded, ignorant and offensive. Kids, like people, are who they are and like what they like and those interests are not defined or influenced by either gender. Our daughter is a girl who likes tie dyed t-shirts and leggings, but, when it's time for her to attend formal events she chooses either a dress or a dressy pants suit, i.e., appropriate clothes. She gets a choice on type of outfit but not on the formality of it. By doing so, we are still sensitive to her feelings and giving her some autonomy, but she also understands that she's the child and we are the parents; our family's values and our boundaries. We are not and never will be coequals that take a vote as a family like we are the UN either on family vacations my husband and I pay for or how we decorate the common areas of our home whose mortgage we pay . Absurd. There's nothing wrong with setting firm boundaries with our children, clear expectations and give limitless love, encouragement and Faber's version of positive praise. More than anything, that's what kids want and its our job to give that to them. I hope future editions omit "The Next Generation." Truthfully, Faber's suggestions were commonsense and tested over 30 years successfully and they don't need any updating or input from "The Next Generation."

This book will help you become not only an effective parent but also will bring cooperation to your Family dynamic. It will teach you as a parent how to set firm limits and maintain goodwill, resolve family conflicts easily and cope with your child's negative feelings.

Good read

First time I read this book, my eyes started to sweat as the examples of how not to talk to kids leapt from the page into my heart's throat with memories of the past. There is not a parent alive who hasn't made mistakes, who wishes that they had made different choices, who wants to take back the hurt they caused their little ones. This book aligned with my priorities as a parent, to help my children become the best decision makers that they can possibly be, to be free thinkers. There are tons of tips and tools in this book that help parents and children listen, feel important, open up and encourage independence. One great tip was not riddling your kids with questions but eliciting conversation with responses that allow children, teenagers and young adults to share more without feeling like they are on a quiz show. It's amazing to me how much my boys tell me if I just give them the chance to talk to an attentive father. FYI to all you husbands out there... these conversation tools work on wives and co-workers too. Another fact that really hit home for me that I'm able to put into everyday practice is, a parent should punish with "natural consequences" that fit the "crime". I remember as a kid getting spanked for doing something wrong... don't even remember what the infractions were... it may have been, not putting something away or lying. In any case, getting swatted for infractions is not what happens in real life. Physical punishment just creates animosity and the desire for revenge. What happens in the real world is, if you don't take care of your friend's belongings... they stop loaning them to you. If you lie, people stop believing you. Children should suffer similar consequences for their own infarctions within a family unit. These types of life lessons when taught to children can shape character... these lessons can reshape yours.

I cannot say enough good things about this book. I picked it up while visiting my sister and couldn't put it down! Each chapter focuses on relevant and practical parenting issues and gives clear and manageable advice. Instead of telling parents to just be more patient, it actually provides simple things you can do and say (seriously, exact words and phrases) in the moment. You can practice these tips and get better, which is really encouraging. It also doesn't beat you up for failing. The authors recognize that parents are people and have real feelings, so their advice never feels shaming or patronizing. I found this particularly refreshing because authors of parenting books usually seem perfect and are totally unrelatable. I have found that my mindset has shifted quite a bit since reading this book. I'm actually planning to pick it up and go through it again to help reinforce the techniques. I HIGHLY recommend reading this!

Bought as gift. Recipient very pleased.

Just think about what it is you tell your kids during a normal day. Isn't it mostly orders and no? Think about it and start to really talk to your kids. And how do you react when your kid tells you something? By giving advice and telling your kid what YOU think (is the right thing to do, to say, etc)? Try saying nothing instead and just listen. This are two key advices I found very helpful, simple and was able to use immediatly. I first bought this book as an e-reader edition, but absolutely had to have the printed edition. Not so much to do the assignments, but more to work on it with markers and stickers. I will keep it close to make sure I read it over and over again because many of the advices might not fit it right now, but will for sure come in handy later on.

Very informative! Opens your eyes and changes the way you talk and engage woth kids

Libro fantástico, lo he recomendado muchísimas veces

It's quite amazing how good this book can work. It is very easy explained and it has a lot of draws and examples. It's also very realistic: It never sells magic solutions, nor says everything will work for everybody. So, it's like being in a workshop with another parents, but in your home and in your own.