The Mother at Home

I cannot say enough wonderful things about this book. I have read countless parenting/early childhood ed books, but by far The Mother at Home gave the most insight into how to bring up a child from infancy to be truly happy, not the false happiness that self-serving produces or that our current society's child psychology offers. Actually, John S.C. Abbot offers mothers (and fathers) a timeless and thorough message giving hope for their own parenting journey that I have not seen elsewhere. If you have an interest in reaching your child's soul to nurture, mold and guide toward everlasting life, (not simply to get them to "mind") you want to read this book. I daily put the principles in this book to practice. I have four boys ages 5, 3, 3, and 1. They are VERY active, challenging, and their sin natures are in full effect! Do they understand this? No. That's why God gave them a mother, me. Am I perfect, no. But I have a perfect God who gave me His Word and a call to raise these little men to become citizens of heaven. I know I will make mistakes, but after reading this book and applying these biblical principles, I am a different person. I am no longer the tired, confused, frustrated, embarrassed, angry, out-of-control mother wondering how I could love my children so much and be doing such a terrible job at mothering. My children are a delight to me and they are happier than they've ever been with their "new mommy." We are still working on some behavior issues, but I know they will come in time. For now, I am so thankful that I am able to connect with them in the most important ways. The wording is a little old fashioned, but I rather enjoyed it. I felt in touch with a time long gone where so many things were still right. But absolutely everything in the book is applicable. John S.C. Abbott is a brilliant and highly educated man and I look forward to reading many of his other books which are for the most part historical. Mothers, simply read the author's dedication and you will tearfully be compelled to read and follow the words therein.

This book was particularly written for the stay-at-home-mom, and was first published in 1833. The fact that it's still in print should tell you that many a mother have found this book to be of help to them and recommended it to others. It's so full of little gems that to gleam all you can from it you'll probably end up reading it more than once over the years. It offers guidance through successful parenting practices, and is full of practical advice for running a successful home, having good children, and avoiding common parenting mistakes. I find it refreshing that it was written before people were scared to discipline their kids, and it's a helpful encouragement for Moms not to slack in our important job because by doing so we only heap up more trouble for the years to come.

This is a book to be read and re-read. I will allow, as another person mentioned, that in places the author advocates what at first seems harsh to our modern notions of child raising. But, the author also instructs, "Guard against too much severity. By pursuing a steady course of efficient government, severity will very seldom be found necessary. If, when punishment is inflicted, it is done with composure and with solemnity, occasions for punishment will be very infrequent. Let a mother ever be affectionate and mild with her children. Let her sympathize with them in their little sports. Let her gain their confidence by her assiduous efforts to make them happy. And let her feel when they have done wrong, not irritated, but sad; and punish them in sorrow, but not in anger. Fear is a useful and a necessary principle in family government. God makes use of it in governing his creatures. But it is ruinous to the disposition of a child, exclusively to control him by this motive. How unhappy must be that family where the parent always sits with a face deformed with scowls, and where the voice is always uttered in tones of severity and command! ... Every effort should be made to make home the most desirable place; to gather around it associations of delight; and thus to form in the mind of your child an attachment for peaceful and purifying enjoyments." One of the things that I most learned from this book was how much I need to change ME, before I expect my children to be 'perfectly obedient'. "The parent must strive to be herself just what she wishes her child to be. She must cherish in her own spirit those virtues and those graces which she desires to see as the embellishments of the character of her child. Our children have more right to expect that we shall be model parents than we have to require that they shall be model children. ...I am to teach my child to avoid vanity, and pride, and selfishness, by cultivating within myself, with never tiring assiduity, the spirit of lowliness, of humility, of self-sacrifice. It is thus, more effectually than in any other way, that I am to reach and influence his heart. So I am to curb the impetuous passions of my child, mainly by gaining the victory over myself, and bringing all my own passions under perfect control." There is so much good in this book!

This has become one of my most favorite books, however this copy published by Solid Ground Christian Books omits three chapters from Abbott’s original writings. Chapters which I find to be the best out of the entire book. The missing chapters are “5. Faults and Errors,” “9. Fruits of Piety,” and “10. Fruits of Piety Continued.”

I received great help from this book. I realize the time we live today is very different than when this book was written, but there are women today who love their children just as much and long to be a good Godly mother and the best mother they can be. I think the women back in those days had it right. They were strong but very loving and tender toward their children. They knew that they were entrusted with the greatest responsibility of all. I give this book five stars for it brought me to tears at times and shed light on my own failures but at the same time gave me great encouragement.

Talk about olde school. Very encouraging to any mother that is at home. It is now a luxury when it once was a God given right, be proud of keeping your house and let the wisdom of this book warm your heart.

This book is a fantastic aid in reflection and course adjustments for the mother of young children. The book is 95% great stuff, and 5% a little didactic or odd. Some things ring a little funny to us young women born after the feminist movement, although all in all Abbott appears to have a very high view of women and their role in influencing future generations. In particular, Abbott's attempt at creating conversation between mother and child seems a bit static and forced, although this may just mean he's a poor writer of dialogue and character. (He was both minister and historian apparently). But all in all it is well worth overlooking the few dated elements to glean some great stuff that is timeless wisdom. I found it refreshing to be convicted and challenged by this fellow's pre 20th century perspective, unafraid to get down to addressing the nitty gritty temptations that I as a mother face daily towards indulging myself and indulging my children or letting lose my temper and being overly severe. Its far more empowering than some of the books written for women today, which encourage self exploration, and child lead parenting.

It's sad that as a christian, I frequently have to avoid child-care manuals that specifically say that they are "christian child-rearing" ala Ezzo's babywise insanity. In this instance, had I been able to see that the subtitle was "Raising Your Children in Fear of the Lord" that probably would have been my first cue to pass. A story related in the second chapter has to do with a mother being to lax with regards to unquestioning obedience and failing to force her child to take medicine...the child then died and "physicians will tell you that many children have been thus lost...and many a mother has been called to weep over the grave of a child because she had not taught it to obey." The answer, then, is to "seriously and calmly punish...inflict real pain, pain that will be remembered." The author goes farther than this, even, and says that if a mother fails in her duty to instill this obedience her children will reproach her at the gates of heaven with the fact that they are barred out because she didn't teach them obedience in childhood. A later tale relates taking a four year old out and punishing him as severely as father dared several times both as an example to him and as an example to the other children, for them to learn that father's arm was stronger than their will. This is not the way I'm raising my child. I realize that this book was written in a different time, one in which schoolteachers had this much latitude for punishing children, but this book should have been left out of print. I'm not even against spanking, per se, but punishment as it is outlined in this book is abuse. Anyone interested in being a responsive, involved, attentive parent will not be able to stomach the child-rearing practices advocated here.