Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal Kindle Edition

Finally a book that helps define and clarify the crossdresser. There have been many books , mostly personal stories of biological males , either from an early age or the “late bloomer” who have transitioned ( usually with a physical change to their biology) to living full time as a girl, woman. There have been a number of TV shows and movies that introduce us to the male to female (MTF) transgender individual in a more positive way than a prostitute who has been murdered. I applaud those books and shows which give us both an education and create a potential for normalcy, just as the introduction of gay and lesbian literature, TV and movies. However, what has been sorely lacking is the need for an understanding of Crossdressing. A mature look without the usual stereotyping of being feminized, fetishes etc. This book by Ms Hauk has definitely filled that gap. As the cover indicates “ A look inside the minds of non-transitioning crossdressers and the women who love them.”Ms. Hauk speaks from personal experience in relationship with a woman and those experiences of other couples whom she knows. The books table of contents while set in chapters can be organized into 3 sections. A general and cohesive understanding of the many different ways the public perceives what crossdressing is or is not. A second section on personal stories including her own, her relationship with her partner (Jen), and Jens view of her relationship with Savannah along with quite a few stories of couples, both married and not who share their own experiences of how to navigate through their relationship. The third section brings us full circle and ties together thoughts on masculinity vs femininity, gender and, what perhaps is normal, and the continual balancing act that all couples , married or not go through as their long term relationships change and evolve over time.Throughout the book there are short asides that are for the reader to ponder. They are gold nuggets and food for thought. Here is one “ Please understand that trying to discover who we are as crossdressers is an impossible task if you can’t take a serious hard look inside yourself” pg 145. Perhaps, most importantly , this book offers an excellent roadmap for the reader whom is a crossdresser, a wife or partner , who are at the beginning or well along in their journey of discovery with each other. You will welcome the positive and constructive ways to strengthen your relationship .I bring away from this well written and thoughtful book, the following. That Identity is a complex constellation of experiences, cultural and social acceptances. And what constitutes our identity as a whole shifts throughout life. It was my hope that this book would shed some light on perhaps the largest population of people who remain submerged (in the closet) for the most part because of the perception that crossdressing is not right and is somehow morally wrong. However, as Ms Hauk has demonstrated that is far from the truth. I applaud her courage to lend a positive direction that informs and guides us to a different conclusion.

My wife and I both read this book. It isn't eloquently written by an award winning author, but, rather, an honest attempt to sort through and deal with a relationship with a cross dressing spouse. My wife has known about me for some time and we have had our ups and downs dealing with it. This book does a fine job of laying out the situation and getting both partners to think about how the other may be feeling. It gives examples of what questions other couples had and how they dealt with them. Then it creates a framework where each partner can ask the other those and other questions and also become able to ask yourself the right questions. Thanks to this book, we are both feeling much less pressure and tension and are moving forward. Whether you are a CD wondering whether to tell your spouse, have already told her, or have no intention of coming out, this is a good read .

Nice book, interesting views and the author is right about finding the holy grail. A woman who doesn't have a problem with her man dressing as a woman.

All-I did not even get to the first page of Ms Hauk’s wonderful new book before I realized that it was going to be tremendously helpful to me. These words, right on the title page, describe exactly what this book is about:“Observations and Thoughts for Non-Fetish,Non-Transitioning Crossdressers and the Women Who Love Them”Right from the beginning, the reader will be impressed by how much time, effort and thought Savannah has put into her book. It has been a life line for me because I am just now in the process of coming out to my wife. It really helps that Savannah’s sensibilities are so close to mine.After just a few pages it will be clear to you how much Savannah cares about her subject and that comes thru so strongly as you read the structured chapters, thoughtful quotes, and helpful reflections.If I had to pick two my favorite parts of the book, they would be the extended explanations of cross-dressing types. (25 pages!). You will find yourself there as I did, and it will help you explain to your partner, “where you are coming form”. In my case, I found myself as an alloy of three main types. It helps to be able to clearly explain what form of cross dressing is your type so that you partner is not left to wonder about all kinds of exotic things that may or may not be you. I also really enjoyed the section of the book that is a compendium of questions that couples bring up during their heart-to-heart talks. Some of the questions are hard, but that is actually good because they bring you closer to the truth.My best friend is quite a distinguished historian and in reading his book(s), I have come to learn that the extra effort in writing a book results in so more than a series of blogs. Savannah, this is what you have done, and I thank you.Brianna in California

I fell like this book was written about and directed at me. I went into the book with a predetermined mindset and finished with hope about my life as a crossdresser, I have a long way to go, but I am on my way to a full filled life as a crossdresser. It is now time to open myself up to my partner she deserves the truth about me. I should never be embarrassed about the things I don't understand, I have been living this life for almost 50 years. It's now time.Thanks Savanah 😊

Great book for cross dressers trying to figure themselves out in the world, highly recommended

I am a relationship counsellor who reads quite a lot but writes few critiques. This book so moved me I had to review it. If I could give this book 6 stars I would. I had my first client who was asking for support as a cross-dresser so I looked for a suitable book to give myself some background information. Not only does it so cleverly demystify the subject from A to Z it is beautifully written from every point of view. Each chapter is thoughtfully introduced with a couple of wise sayings from enumerable sources. The division of the types of people who ross-dress make it so easily understandable so that this very complex issue is made completely understandable. On the way there are so many places that you recognise the caring way Savannah Hauk has researched her book so they not only use their own examples but have used the many experiences of friends and acquaintances from that diverse world.In addition it is full of thoughtful reflections which could be used with all types of difficult relationship issues (heterosexual, homosexual, trans etc.) even if your subject search wasn't purely for cross-dressing. There are many useful tips as to how relationships could be manged looking at them from different angles. I have learnt a great deal from this book and I hope that many people will read this and recognise how any person considered 'outside the norm' in sexuality can and should be accepted. I recommended the book to my clients who were struggling for her to accept his cross-dressing and fearing the possible desire to trans and they really appreciated this demystification. I really hope that Savannah uses their clearly well developed writing skills to produce more work.

I really enjoyed Savannah's book. Very down to earth point of view of crossdressing.

TL;DR One of the best book on the subject!The author talks about their experience of crossdressing. They put a lot of emphasis on self-acceptance (understanding that the crossdresser is same as everyone else, a.k.a. normal) and self-discovery (understanding what are your preferences and where you want to arrive at).The author also stresses the idea of carring for the crossdresser's SO and their needs. The book tries to explain what they go through upon learning that their partner crossdresses. There are also tips and how to come out to your SO.All in all, one of the best books I have read about this topic. Would recommend to anyone interested!

great read