The Intimate Mystery: Creating Strength and Beauty in Your Marriage (Intimate Marriage)

I was extremely excited to read "The Intimate Mystery," having read a number of solid marriage books over the years but nothing new recently. And I had heard good things about Dan Allender. My wife and I read the book along with a small group of young married couples from our church.To its credit, the book has many strengths. Most significantly, the paradigm of leaving, weaving, and cleaving that Allender and Longman extract from Genesis 2 is extremely helpful. This framework for a successful, God-honoring marriage is biblical and simple.It is also clear that these are some smart guys. I consider myself to be relatively well-read, but I literally had to check a dictionary several times to look up words in this short book. Beyond vocabulary, the book presents some higher level concepts than other marriage books, which often settle for mere self-help approaches instead.The final positive points are more trivial. I appreciated that the book was shorter than some, which made it more readable and digestible. And the book jacket manages to be attractive without being unnecessarily feminine.Having admitted these strengths, I will briefly explain a few disappointments. First, I was very frustrated with the experience of trying to fit together the various curriculum pieces that accompany this book. There are six different study guides, a DVD, and a leader's guide, which are all explained to be essential to working through the material. Beyond the construction of a money-making franchise, I cannot imagine why the authors would seemingly require so many different separate (and costly) pieces. We decided to skip the DVD, and the study guides and leader's guide were not particularly helpful. I'd encourage others to just read the book.I was also surprised by how difficult it was for me to follow some of the authors' points. I'm not the brightest guy in the world, but I can read Lewis, Foster, Willard, McGrath and other intellectual heavyweights. Yet, I really struggled to get through some of the chapters. I just found some of the ideas to be almost hastily or sloppily thrown together, in a way that was not clear to the reader.Finally, our group was somewhat taken aback by some of the examples that were used. Though I suspect that the authors were using a rhetorical approach that was intended to jar and even shock the reader on occasion, our group found it to be off-putting.In conclusion, I am glad that I read this book, as the leave-weave-cleave paradigm was presented in a way that made sense to me. I imagine that this framework will stick with me and continue to shape my understanding of Christian marriage. However, I was not overly impressed with the book and cannot recommend it highly. If you're looking for a great book to strengthen your marriage, read Gary Thomas' "The Sacred Marriage" instead.

this book is a wonderful book to go through during marriage-when things are rough, or when they are good and you would like to grow more. it would be an awesome pre-marriage book for those looking to grow in knowledge of marriage before saying "i do!"our marriage counselor is going through it with my husband and i and it has been a wonderful approach when just going in to counseling to "talk" is too hard. it is nice having this book as a standing ground to start conversations vs. just jumping into the deep end when talking about life is extremely hard.i would recommend this book to anyone wanting to enrich their marriage, grow in knowledge before marriage or learn about marriage to assist others taking that walk!hope this review is helpful to anyone out there looking to find a solid book on marriage--you have come to the right book! and it is a very quick and easy read. go for it!

I liked the advice on how to leave, weave, and cleave in marriage. I do not take the bible literally and so found the author a little judgmental in some instances, but overall this is a good book with some excellent points even for a non-traditional reader of the bible. Recommended by my marriage counselor. The author mentions his wife not liking to read what he writes. I would love to read her response/additions to this book!: )

An excellent review of what marriage truly is versus the "feel good," selfish view of marriage that society promotes marriage to be. Comes from a biblical context, but the truths are universal. An excellent read for anyone considering marriage, not just for married couples.

Dr. Allender does a great job of using his spiritual and psychological insights in helping us understand the nature of a Christian marriage and its developmental process. His broadening of perspective to include God as the author of the marriage and as a participant in a marriage is particularly useful and insightful. In short, anyone who wants to take a few more steps in deepening and furthering their understanding of their marital relationship and the role that God plays in it would benefit from reading this book.

Excellent book on marriage from a Biblical perspective. Dr. Allender takes Genesis passage as model for men and women to leave, cleave and weave.The short excursions into theology were not meaningful to me, but I was able to skim through easily.This book can help anyone better understand how to achieve the oneness prescribed by God in the Bible.

Thr mystery lies in the Spirit's work as we submit our own hearts. Th is is not a how to book. It is an invitation few will accept, to surrender their life and heart to the God of the universe in communion with another heart in true leaving, weaving, and cleaving adventure.

Great subject matter.... Got a little long winded in areas making it hard to stay interested

Ok, this book tells it like it is. Yes, sometimes we make each other crazy and it's refreshing to read an author admit they do too. We're just getting started on it, but my husband and I BOTH are enjoying it. He even wants to get the companion Bible Studies when we're done with the book. Yes, you read that right..... a man is enjoying it and wants more!

Fantastic book.