Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families

If your family is considering foster care or adoption this is the book for you. Take it to heart! Full of real world knowledge that does not sugar coat. We know. We've been doing both for 15 years and this is one of the BEST guides I can recommend.

As a foster-to-adopt mother of a family relative, I have struggled with the isolation of therapeutic parenting, the inability to share my full family story without affecting the privacy of our adoptive daughter, and how much people can't understand the emotional toll of parenting a traumatized child unless they have walked that path themselves as a parent. This book tells you you're not alone...you're not inadequate...that the exhaustion that is therapeutic parenting is normal. It tells stories that are pretty normal and relatable; these stories explain why you're so tired and why this is so hard. There are lots of books that try to do the same, but this is the first that is full of NORMAL examples of kids' behaviors--not the outlying arsonists and murdering horror stories that so often represent traumatized kids in parenting books. Our daughter is not dangerous, and is also struggling with some very big stuff that makes her act out in big ways occasionally. I appreciate that this book is full of every-day examples of how parenting wounded children affects their foster and adoptive parents and siblings, while helping parents realize that they are normal....and never really as alone as we can sometimes feel.

As a child welfare professional embarking on my own fostering/adoption journey, I can't say enough about this book. I've often been very frustrated and worried by prospective adoptive/foster parents who seem woefully unprepared, and although well-meaning, inadequately able to meet the children's needs (rather than their own hopes/dreams). This book doesn't paint the overly-hopeful, rosy picture of adoption that so many wish for. It gives the reality, and then gives hope to that reality, and really concrete ideas on how to make that reality better for everyone.This book alone is better than days and days of foster/adoptive parent training. Each chapter covers important topics in depth, but short enough to actually have the time to read them when time is precious. There is a quick review for easy reference after each chapter, followed by questions to help you integrate what you've learned in your own situation.The chapters on school-related considerations are a blessing... this is material that is rarely covered, yet is so important.There is so much I could say, but most importantly, this book covers what I wish every adoptive parent or person considering adoption knew! It's also helped me to see how social workers can better understand and support foster and adoptive parents.Time and money well spent!

This book covers in pretty good detail the difficulties that might arise when before, during and after an adoption of traumatized children. I like that the author tries to prepare the reader without discouraging this type of adoption. There is a good amount of writing here on setting your expectations realistically to avoid a failed adoption. Schooler labors in her writing to teach that parenting and loving traumatized children is hard, but also can be extremely rewarding.

A very helpful book giving encouragement and support with lots more recommended reading material to carry on with if this is your need. Definitely shed a bit of light on the why of how I feel at times and helped me to understand a bit better the dynamics between me and my two fosterlings. It's nice to confirm that our feelings are entirely normal and also good to have it spelled out what a very difficult job raising other people's children is. If you are having difficulty and near despair this may make you reconsider and give yourself a pat on the back instead as you begin to realise that the negative feelings and patterns of behavior that can happen are part of having a wounded child and not caused by you. I think all prospective adopters and permanent caregivers of wounded kids should read this before leaping off the deep end.

The authors delve deep into the world of the adopted child. Totally inspiring while giving hope and very grounded !

I am a pre-adoptive parent, and I am very glad I read this book so early in this stage of older child adoption. I have a feeling I'll be referring back to this book, especially since the book provided lots of practical tips and strategies. I've already shared details related to the schools chapters with one of my teacher friends. General Ed teachers need this type of trauma education, too!

Excellent, realistic examples and stories of parenting children in the system. Honest and heartfelt stories and facts. This book makes me feel like a much better parent than I thought I was. The stress and much needed patience that come with hurt children are recognized in this book the hope that it offers is next to no other book I've read about this subject. If you are a parent or about to become a parent of a wounded child, this book is a great resource.

This is an extremely helpful resource for families of adopted children, written by people with many years of "in the trenches" experience. It addresses a wide range of issues that can arise with adoptions, and offers hopeful ways of viewing and addressing them. Highly recommended.

Excellent book. Great resource for families with adopted children; especially children who were adopted at a later age. Also excellent tool for counsellors/therapists who are working with families with adopted children.