Queerly Beloved: A Love Story Across Genders

I am not a reviewer who gives 5 stars often or without a great deal of thought. In fact I am always a little suspicious of 5 and 1 star reviews. However, for this book I am making an exception. Additionally I am not a reviewer who provides a synopsis of the book and I will not be doing so here.The true sign for an exceptional book for me is one that causes me to think. If hours after I turn the last page I am still thinking about what was written then the book is a success. I finished Queerly Beloved more than a day ago and I am still thinking about it and even going back to re-read some of the passages.I am not sure how I would react if my wife of 38 years reached the conclusion she was actually meant to be a man. I realize no one arrives at this decision in a vacuum and without a great deal of soul searching. It makes me wonder what are the components of our sexuality and how do these play into who we choose as a life partner. Is it really the external gender, is it what is in the brain or is it what is in the soul?Labels are everywhere and we get through life by placing labels on things and people. After all if we did not have a fairly universal label for common things in life like what is a book, car, chair etc. we would spend a great deal of our lives in a state of angst about how to communicate with our fellow man. The labels we place on our sexuality and gender appear to be more fluid than most people realize and this is shown over and over again in this book. Were Diane and Suzy (Jacob) ever truly lesbians? Are Diane and Jacob (Suzy) now bi-sexual or even straight? Does it matter? This is the type of question that causes me to think about this book long after I finished it.So to end here, I found this book to be thought provoking and yet a story that holds the reader’s interest and does not become preachy. I highly recommend it to anyone who has thought about their place on the sexuality and gender continuums.One final note to the authors – what’s up with the snarky reference to the family from Hartford, Connecticut? (Only kidding)

I read this book in two days (or was it nights?) and if there was a six-star rating, I would add that extra star. I loved the style, the very honest and open approach to this very sensitive topic of trans-sexualism (is that even a word?) and relationships. For me this book was a very welcome ray of positive energy in an ocean of studies and scary stories about trans-relationships will ultimately fail. Diane and Jacob show that there is so much more to this world than the binary fairy tail of two genders, two sexes and two sexual orientations.A bit of background: Diane and Jacob are a couple for over 20 years. 15 years into their lesbian relationship, then Suzy tells her wife that she identifies as male and thinks about transitioning. At this point Diane is very active in the Lesbian community, both privately and professionally, so the transition will affect not only her private life, but potentially also her professional endeavors. A lesbian advocate with a male partner is not perceived the same as a lesbian activist with a wife.Diane and Jacob manage to weather this storm though. They are a prime example that a couple can survive transition, that you can keep identifying as Lesbian, queer, bi-sexual, whatever you choose, even though your partners has decided to go rectify his or her perceived gender.The book is a true team effort. Each episode is explained by both partners separately. So first you will read Suzy's (Jacob's) or Jacob's (Suzy's) take (depending on whether the episode is pre or post transition) followed by Diane's view of the same episode. I loved this approach, a great way to recognize difference in experience without elevating one perception over the other.A must read for trans-people and their spouses/partners/co-pilots/queerly beloved ones. And a should-read for anyone else.

I am married to a FTM and we have started his journey this year. I have been searching for a book that is similar to our situation. It hasn't been easy to find a lesbian and FTM memoir. I'm so thankful to have run across this book.

Easy reading, funny at times, this book gives the reader a chance to think about the complexity of women's sexuality.Also the couple wrote many pages trying to justify why they are still together, I couldn’t help but wonder why Diane keeps putting up with that guy, it so obvious that she deserves better.

Since reading this book, I've frequently found myself sharing insights from it with others about relationships, gender. sexuality, and identity. I think this could be the most fascinating book I've ever read.

Wonderful writing. Achingly honest. Plenty of humor as well. So glad I read this!

Great perspective both on changing gender but also the transition the significant other faces.

Still reading But it is good so far