The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts MP3 CD – Unabridged, February 20, 2005

This book changed my relationships. It helps you to understand how to love someone better and make them feel loved. This books helps you to show love to others the way they want to be loved and therefore making your relationships stronger and deeper. Great read!

I'm not all that big on self-help books, although I've also read some of Dr. Gray's Mars/Venus books to help me better understand how and why men and women are so different, and to embrace those differences and re-learn communication and conflict-resolution skills.This book by Dr. Chapman is entirely different and just as effective, in a different way. My boyfriend's son had sent it to him a year before we met, when he (my BF) and his wife were about to split up, hoping that it might help and maybe they'd reconcile. My BF read it cover-to-cover, loved it, learned from it, and, while it didn't save his marriage (his wife was leaving him for her new boyfriend no matter what), he highly recommended it to me and I bought it the next day. Wow, am I glad I did! It's an easy read and makes so much sense. We all have our own "love language" - and if our partner doesn't know it, and expresses his/her love a different way, it may not be the way that we need (and vice versa). My love language is Words of Affirmation (there are 5 major languages, and we all have one primary language that our partner should learn, and we should learn our partner’s). So when he tells me how much he appreciates me, loves me, tells me I look pretty, what a great mom I am, whatever, I positively glow. He also *shows* his love in so many ways, not just with words, so even if he doesn't say it, he shows it, and I appreciate him so much for that (and for so many other things). But because my "language" is Words of Affirmation (probably stemming from my childhood, when I got little to no positive feedback or encouragement), his loving words mean more to me than anything else, even though the other languages are important too. By the way, the 5 Love Languages, according to Dr. Chapman, are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch (in a non-sexual way, such as spontaneously giving an affectionate hug or squeeze on the arm while passing by, bear hugs, sitting with my legs on his lap while we watch a movie, cuddling – yes, guys, cuddling is great and I’m lucky that my BF loves to do it too – and he’s as masculine as they come!). While the other languages are very important, I determined that my primary language is Words. We all have different primary languages. But I realized that, despite his showing me his love in so many ways, if he never again said "I love you" to me, or told me I'm pretty when we go out, or gives me an atta girl when I accomplish something important to me, etc., I'd feel that something major was missing (and in the book you'll read about how we all need our Love Tanks filled and the way to fill them is to speak our partner’s language regularly – that sounds silly maybe, but the book puts it into logical context). Quality time (one of the languages) doesn't mean simply being in the same room watching TV together; it means things like sitting down and talking (and listening) to each other without multi-tasking (texting, glancing at the score on TV, reading the paper, etc.), even if only 20 minutes a day. Important? Absolutely. Acts of Service: I’d bought a house last summer and when my BF was over the other day he saw an 8-foot extension ladder in my family room and asked me about it. I told him that the light bulb in the ceiling fan in my 2-story family room had burned out and I needed the ladder to reach it. The ladder was still there last night and the bulb not yet changed because when I’d climbed up and tried to remove the fixture cover, the screws were too tight so I gave it up that night, planning to go up again the next day with a wrench, pliers or other grip to loosen them, but I hadn’t had a chance to yet. So without a word last night, he got right up on the ladder and unscrewed it for me (I love a strong man!). I was grateful, absolutely, yet I also could have done it myself, so Acts of Service isn’t my primary language, though it’s still important. Receiving Gifts isn't my language either, although of course I appreciate them. Physical Touch: that comes naturally to both of us so it wasn't even a consideration since we both do it regularly. Therefore, Words are my primary language. As for my BF, turns out that's his language too, which doesn't always happen that way; most of us have different love languages. Anyway, sorry to go on and on, but I highly recommend this book, whether you're embarking on a new relationship or want to rekindle an existing one that may need a new spark.My grateful thanks to my BF's son, who sent him the book, otherwise I wouldn't have known about it. (By the way, just learning what each other's language is isn't enough. That's only the first step. From there, Dr. Chapman goes on to share how to actually speak the language, to put it into practice. My relationship was fantastic from the start, and knowing what I know now from reading this well-written book will help ensure it stays that way! So stop thinking about it: Add it to your cart! :) (And thank you, Dr. Chapman!)

I read this book and it changed how I look at my relationship. It helped me understand not only myself but how others speak their love languages. It’s like a light bulb went on in my head and so much of what I’ve lived in my relationship makes sense now… speaking the love language of your pouse is key to an everlasting relationship. This book can help save marriages!

This book was recommended to me, because I didn't understand my love relationship with my wife. This book is helping me to understand things and how to truly love and live in our marriage relationship.

Really, it did. Simple and profound, a quick read. We all want to express love in the form that we want it for ourselves which is a recipe for disaster and completely arbitrary for your partner however well meaning that is. My wife kept saying that she didn't feel loved in spite of my significant attempts.... Now I know why. For instance saying "I love you" had absolutely no impact on her because her "words of affirmation" category is zero (absent). But she has a high need for physical touch (hooray for me because that is a big match). That insight lead to further research into tantric sex and now I'm having the best sex of my life and more frequently than when we were younger (amazing on both counts). The key was finally understanding what she needed so that she could feel "filled up" In the customized way that she needed.The examples are a bit dated, but still conceptually valid. For her the "acts of service" wasn't washing the dishes, but acts of targeted thoughtfulness that took some time to properly distinguish. I took it on to do something appropriately thoughtful for her every single day since she tested high in that category.... That was a grand slam home run over time.We also took a course in the enneagram (highly insightful personality typing) about the same time that dovetailed nicely. She was a type 2 that wants to make everyone around her happy, everyone except herself of course; she gives and gives until she is depleted and then becomes resentful. For her to be able to state what she wants and needs remains a huge struggle for her but she expects me to just know... A paradox for sure, but now I understand that by keeping her "filled up" overcomes that sense of depletion. (The enneagram is also highly recommended to know yourself and those around you). She takes care of those round her and she needed someone to do that for her; a huge insight.The punch line is that I now get back what I need with a new passion that feels more like an ongoing honeymoon. Priceless. ;-)

This book is a must read in my opinion and one for all couples and people in general to read. Gives a great, clear understanding of your diffirent style of giving and receiving love, something you may not have realized. Highly recommended

Every couple should read this book. I suggest to read it together with your partner. This book makes you understand how to love your partner and how you can feel yourself loved by your partner.

Wow! I read this little marvel with great interest and found it fascinating. Quite simply Gary explains that we all have primary and secondary languages of love. We show our love for people in many ways, but we each have a language of love which is demonstrated more frequently than others. More often than not, the language of love we display the most, is also the one which makes us feel loved and secure when we are in receipt of it. In order to keep a loving relationship alive after the honeymoon period subsides, we need to match our partner's primary and secondary languages. We each have a 'love tank' which is empty when relationships fail - we don't feel loved. In order to fill it again, our partner needs to display our language of love to us, and ensure they are consistently doing so.The five languages of love are: Words of affirmation (expressing love verbally, giving praise, complimenting, etc.), receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service (doing things to please), physical touch (whether it be sex or just hugs, cuddles, a reassuring touch of the arm, etc.).Gary uses case studies from his long career in marriage counselling to evidence how effective this method of staying together and loving forever actually is. It is reassuring to see that even relationships which would otherwise be considered not worth pursuing and past the point of return, can effectively be rescued and restored to a greater and more rewarding level of love than you could ever imagine.I have learnt what my primary and secondary languages of love are and have also figured out my partner's. It has really opened my eyes. There is a great little on line interactive tool on the 5 Languages website which is fun to use and helps you to figure out which of the five languages of love are your top two. It confirmed I had assessed myself correctly.I'd recommend this book wholeheartedly. If you are about to give up on someone, don't! Certainly not before you have read this little book and put its simple instructions in to practice.

Received it without any problem. It's a great book to give as an engagement present or wedding present. My husband really enjoyed it too.

Der amerikanische Familientherapeut Gary Chapman beschreibt hier, warum manche Partnerschaften leiden und hat aus seiner Erfahrung fünf verschiedene Sprachen der Liebe entwickelt, die der jeweils andere für sich besonders wichtig hält; wenn er sich aber hier nicht angenommen und verstanden fühlt, droht die partnerschaftliche Kommunikation einzuschlafen und in der Folge auch das partnerschaftliche Miteinander.Diese 5 Sprachen der Liebe hat Chapman definiert- Sprache der Liebe Nummer 1: Lob und Anerkennung- Sprache der Liebe Nummer 2: Zweisamkeit - die Zeit nur für Dich- Sprache der Liebe Nummer 3: Geschenke, die von Herzen kommen- Sprache der Liebe Nummer 4: Hilfsbereitschaft und- Sprache der Liebe Nummer 5: Zärtlichkeit.Wo ist denn Ihre Sprache der Liebe und kennt Ihr Partner sie? Kennen Sie auch die Ihres Liebsten?Habe einer griechischen Freundin das Buch geschenkt und es kam auch an - etwas später als gedacht, aber es hat seine Wirkung nicht verfehlt! Die deutsche Ausgabe gibt es zusätzlich auch für Kinder und für Teenager!