10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, Second Edition: The Breakthrough Program for Overcoming Your Child's Difficult Behavior

I am mom to a 7-year old ADHD and defiant child. I have had behavioral services in my home for five years, but none of the behavioral approaches or discipline systems worked consistently. When my child began therapy with Dr. Bernstein, I began implementing his program "10 Days to a Less Defiant Child," in my home. This book has completely changed our lives and our family dynamic. Although it is a work in progress, Dr. Bernstein's program has shown us consistent positive results and, frankly, has given us hope for our child's future. I also found the section on ADHD to be extremely valuable. I learned so much from reading this book that specifically applies to my child, and I am so grateful for Dr. Bernstein's practical steps and insights!

This seems like it would be helpful for children age 8+. We have a difficult 4-year-old and this was not geared towards little ones.

What I learned from Dr. Bernstein and reading this book is that I have to change myself if I want to change my child's defiant behavior. Dr. Bernstein "gets it" as he admits to having struggled with defiance issues within his own family. At first, for the first day or so, it's hard, no doubt, as we have to get used to not reaching for our "go to" response of yelling or whatever other negative reaction we have when our child is defiant, but I promise, it gets easier as you gets used to your new role as an "emotion coach" for your child. Remember, too, that every moment of every day is an opportunity to change your behavior as a parent and your child's defiant behavior. Don't lose sight of what is important.Dr. Bernstein's style of writing appeals to me because it's down to earth yet educational and motivating. Dr. Bernstein doesn't throw around a bunch of "psycho-babble" and some people are wont to describe the narratives of similar books.If you are struggling with defiance in your child and are nearing your wit's end, I implore you to do you and your family a favor and buy this book, read and absorb the teachings within. You will not regret it.

Parenting is challenging. It doesn’t matter who the child or parent we all have our own challenges to make us better people.What I did NOT like about the book is the title... it perhaps limits the appeal, though gets the attention. Get past ‘judging a book by its cover’This book is gentle and kind for the parent and the child.The book address concerns all parent face. Rather than leave you hanging it offers practical ‘doable’ advice. And encourages you to do so.Yes some of the suggestions you would be doing- it is affirming to read so and coarse adjust and tweak.Yes some may be new suggestions or rub the wrong way..... try them none the less- you have everything to gain!I loved the quote from the book “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” I have felt this way and this is what I loved is the next bit of the quote “the horse will drink when thirsty” and I absolutely concur!! I know I needed this reminder.This is going to be one of those dog eared loved books I refer to.Thank you.

Good read, but I learned I do not have 10 days of patience left. I have added a few of the tips to our daily life. Adopted child from the foster system. I needed a quick fix, but realized nothing can replace time and patience. A work in progress, I can almost see the light

It's well written, it helped me understand my son. But it didn't help in the long run. We changed how we treat our son, praise him for every positive thing he does. He has less temper tantrums, but he took advantage of us being nicer and he is still defiant, maybe even more than before.

There is a lot of useful information in this book. It is easy to read, and easy to follow step by step.For several years my kids and I have been locked in unproductive power struggles in increasingly poor communication. As my 14 year old hit teenage years, I felt I lost any control or influence over her choices and decisions. Her 10 year old brother could not be pulled away from the computer and other gaming devices. I felt that I was turning into a parent I swore I'd never be!From the first chapter, as I implemented the recommendations of Dr. Bernstein, I started to notice a shift. My kids even commented that I changed, though they did not seem to trust my new "calm, firm, non-controlling" approach for a while. After a relatively brief time, though, they saw that I meant to change the way I spoke and behaved with them, and they started to respond much better to my limits, and my requests. For the first time in several years we actually have fun together. Our relationship has become more cooperative and trusting.I found recommendations related to my teen and pre-teen's online activity particularly helpful.I have recommended this book to several of m friends, and they saw positive changes in their families, as well.

I love everything about this bookFilled with practical wisdom and REALLY teaches one how and what to do and to have a proper attitudeAnd I used an earlier version on my “wild Child” and in about 3-4 months I saw it WORK !And let me say at each stage it is brought out again and used to prevent or for early intervention on issues and behaviorsA TREASURE to me !This new edition addresses the computer / cell phone / electronic media ...all of it .... very wiselyLOVE this book. !!! Great for terrible 2s to 22s

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Of the many parenting books out there this is one of the really useful ones.We bought this book because we were at out wits-end. He mentions in the book that many children are well-behaved for other people but defiant in the home. Not so with ours, he was defiant everywhere and it was getting worse and worse. The more we tried to control his behaviour the worse he became and it affected everything: school, home, activities. It was becoming hard to take him anywhere.I read lots of book reviews and settled on this one as a starting point, thinking that it might not be enough, or appropriate to the type of behaviour I was seeing. It quickly became clear that this book is for the parents of very difficult children, so if you have one of those, but there is no clear reason why then it may well be for you.The advice given in the book, given over 10 chapters which repeat the learning from and build on one another, takes you through the reasons that your child is behaving this way, and then gives some practical advice. It is very easy to read and non-technical, with plenty of examples to make the steps clear. In truth the method that Bernstein outlines wasn't what I expected or even what I wanted from my new 'manual'. Although we were skeptical but my partner and I tried it and it worked! Within about a week we could see that our defiant little boy had calmed down and was easier to handle. Now, a few months on we still have a defiant child who chooses to dig in over very small things, but we have a range of techniques for disarming the situation, and create more all the time based on the original principles in the book.It's worth noting that the book is really about dealing with school-age children. Defiance and tantrums are part of normal pre-school behaviour, although he does say that the methods can be used on younger children, I suspect they will be limited, and you might be better with a book specifically aimed at toddler behaviour. I found the later chapters less helpful than the earlier ones. The chapter on family was largely not applicable to us, though there were a few helpful points in there. Because we had issues with behaviour at school I really wanted some insights from that chapter, but it wasn't helpful at all, probably because the American author is writing for a different school system.I don't know what we would have done without this book. Along with Playful Parenting, it has really helped our family through.

A good read and some aspects and pointers worked for me and then others didnt, which I suppose is true for most. However, my son has autism and I suspect pathological demand avoidance syndrome also, so may not be the right tool for me.It is extremely helpful for the mind, although I have never lost my cool in the situations given in the book, I have felt pushed beyond my limits and left mentally exhausted. This book breathed some fresh air into my head and helped me realise I am not alone. But it also made me realise my child is not defiant, he is autistic and lead by his anxieties.Still, a useful book, more about training yourself, which is what it should be about really!

This book is amazing. I've tried several books and, although lots have been helpful, this is by far the best. The advice is simple and makes so much sense. It's broken down into easy-to-read sections/bulletpoints and each chapter addresses different things e.g. there is a chapter dedicated to helping parents shout/yell less. I can pick the book up at random times to remind myself of the techniques and i DEFINITELY see a difference in my child through implementing them.I would really, really recommend this book for anyone struggling with a defiant child or children. Fantastic!

I did like this book. I have read many more like it but I think its probably the best one, as it balances understanding for your defiant child with positive methods and outlook that may help. The general tone is good too. There is also some small understanding for the parent who is struggling.

Reading this book instantly had an impact on my approach and understanding of my child. In just one week I have 3 sorry’s from my child, which he would never say sorry before.He’s calmer, I’m calmer my daughters calmer. It’s made a huge difference already to our family environment. It’s a must buy.