The Art of Dying Well: A Practical Guide to a Good End of Life

This book contains a wealth of information that is best to read before one is faced with a loved one's impending death, or one's own. I deemed this book so essential, that I chose to buy another copy. I had first read the material on my Kindle app and underlined relevant parts - but sometimes a physical copy is helpful as well. I felt more relieved about facing end of life issues with a certain degree of knowledge and competency.

Whether the reader is facing major life/health issues or is a loved one/care-giver for those who do, or simply interested in how to prepare for end of life questions and decisions; this is a beautifully prepared guide for organizing, planning, and putting in place the necessary documents and priorities to ease the burden on oneself and those left behind.Highly recommended.HOWEVER: The book and description indicate that a pdf accompaniues the audio download. NOT TRUE and no idea how to resolve. If you haven't got the hard copy, the pdf is critical to value because there are many references to resources etc which (are contained within the pdf provided with your download"

I've read a lot of books on end-of-life planning lately. I'm doing a unit with my clients on "Getting Your Affairs In Order" just as a sort of "yep, checked that box" sort of thing. No one is imminently dying, as far as I know. But that's the thing with being a planner: you don't actually KNOW when, so best to know this stuff ahead of time in case you need it.Like most books I've read on this topic, Katy Butler's "Art of Dying Well: A practical Guide to a Good End of Life" is sort of mixed up between talking to caregivers and the person who will be doing the dying. Some messages are easier to read when you imagine yourself as the caregiver, of course, but anything you learn in the course of being a caregiver you can pivot to use for yourself when the need arises.Talking about death starts out stilted and hard, but quickly becomes sacred. It's like imagining a childbirth, all gross with blood and feces and unattractive uses of sexual parts. When you're distant from the occasion it's unseemly to give TMI. But when it's YOU having a baby, or your spouse, well: we want to know ALL the tricks for avoiding tears on the perineum, how to roll the nipples, what sort of car seat you want to have installed in advance.Reading about death is much the same. In fact, one quote that stuck with me was "I didn't choose to be born, and I don't choose to die." It's a contemplation of the limits of our powers. Sometimes we're just swept along with these great forces and control is an illusion. You can meditate on that for yourself if you wish, it leads to useful places.This entire book leads to useful places, in my opinion. Knowing when to post a MOLST on the fridge, knowing when NOT to call 911 (and what to do instead): this is useful information for most of us. It gives you some language to help interpret what doctors are trying to tell you, which I found helpful. She does this at various stages. When they say you're ill, asking what the progression of the disease will look like is more helpful, in some ways, than their estimate of how long you'll live. (The doctors routinely over-estimate how long you'll live, by the way. They may be thinking 3 to 6 months and tell you 6 months because they want you to have hope. But it can screw up planning!)I'm a financial planner and this book isn't a clear win for the financial piece of it. That's Harry Margolis' "Get Your Ducks In a Row". But I liked this book better than the trollishly named "Advice for Future Corpses". Recommended.

I had read a library copy, and was so impressed, I bought one for my library. Excellent, concise advice on preparing for the end of the journey as well as setting the stage as you slow down and want to "age in place" instead of a nursing home. Good jumping off points to explore further on the 'net if you want to know more. I only wish I had read this 20 years ago.

“Dying peacefully in your own bed takes a lot of planning and preparation. Dying in an ICU, hooked up to machines, most often, is the accident.” I have said this repeatedly in my over 35 years as a nursing home, hospital and hospice chaplain. Katy Butler fleshes this out in "The Art of Dying Well: A Practical Guide to a Good End of Life." A peaceful passing is not accomplished only by arranging for hospice and pain management in the last two or three days of life. Ms. Butler says the preparation starts years before. Of course, the obvious practical steps are important, like completing a “Living Will” and “Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare.” I say “obvious,” but precious few people actually take the small number of minutes needed to complete these documents. So, perhaps, not so obvious, therefore, it needs to be said again, and again. Butler takes this preparation for dying well to a whole new level, way beyond pieces of paper. The book is organized in seven chapters, each covering a phase from our healthy years to our final days. The chapters are: 1. “Resilience”; 2. “Slowing Down”; 3. “Adaptation”; 4. ”Awareness of Mortality”; 5. “House of Cards”; 6. “Preparing for a Good Death”; and 7. “Active Dying”. Each chapter starts by helping the reader identify whether he or she is in this phase… “You may find this chapter useful if…” and there is a list of signs marking that particular phase. For example, if “You can’t walk a half a mile unaided, unscrew a jar, or pick up a dining room chair” you may benefit with the information in chapter 5 “House of Cards.” A recurring section in all but the last chapter is “Finding Allies in…”. These are healthcare professionals in every field from preventive medicine, physical therapy, house call programs, to hospice. Nurture your “tribe” too. While you are healthy, take care of your friends, neighbors (especially your younger ones), people in your faith community and family members—you may need to call on them someday. Omitting “Finding Allies” from the “Active Dying” (the last hours or days of life) chapter says to me, if you haven’t been developing these relationships by your last days, it may be too late. Family and friends are really needed in this last phase. Could you ask your next-door neighbor to pick up some meds at the pharmacy if you have never met them? Build your tribe long before you need them. If one waits until just a few days before dying to start preparations to have a peaceful death, it may be too late. A HUGE problem hospices face is last-minute admissions. It is a problem because it can take a several days to get all the necessary medical equipment into a patient’s home and find the best way to get pain under control. We are back to my “dying peacefully takes a lot of planning and preparation.” Not to be overlooked in preparing for a peaceful end is the spiritual side of life. This may or may not be religious in nature. Butler points the reader toward many spiritual traditions with examples of prayers and rituals. Those who do not consider themselves to be religious will find resources here. The chaplain in me really appreciates this aspect being included in a book called “A Practical Guide”. Saying goodbye at the end of life IS a spiritual journey. In the end, Butler turns to a healthcare system which makes dying well so much harder. The way our system works in the United States is doctors and hospitals are paid for doing stuff. The more aggressive the treatments… the more machines used… the more tests ordered and more needle sticks… the more providers are paid. We (through Congress and Medicare/Medicaid) have no problem spending $7,000 a day on a dying elderly patient in an ICU but cannot find the money for more physical therapy to help another old person live independently. A doctor can order pills for a frail patient that cost hundreds of dollars but can’t help them get food. Katy Butler, appropriately, encourages all of us to become activists in changing the way we care for, not just the dying, but those living with frail health throughout our declining years. Get the book. Read it now. Read it again every time you find yourself moving from one of Butler’s phases to the next.Hank Dunn, author of "Hard Choices for Loving People: CPR, Feeding Tubes, Palliative Care, Comfort Measures, and the Patient with a Serious Illness"

Not everyone is comfortable talking about death and the medical journeys that many of us or our loved ones go through. This book is insightful and comforting to have read if we are to ever feel challenged by life as we face death

Ok book

Although written about a serious/somber subject, it gives great information and food for thought

Hand book for ensuring good end of life care