The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over

Read this and loved the knowledge it shared. Found it helpful to nail a good job!

I first heard Jake Shafer on a podcast and was impressed so I purchased this book. It’s the best book I ever read. Looking at some of the one-star reviews, I realized maybe some people are very familiar with techniques in this book so to them, it may not be worth it.Some of the things I read, I realized I have done before but not on purpose. Some of the things I just thought were so obvious that I wondered how it is I never realized it before. Other things I thought were so simple yet so brilliant.After reading the book I realized how different I would have handle people and situations in my past. I went to a lot of business meetings and conferences where I’d meet a lot of new people for the purpose of doing business and making business connections. If I were to do that again, I would walk in with confidence that I control the situation. I would be able to connect with anyone and everyone that I wanted to connect with. I also realized that my failure to make a lot of connections was my own fault. I used to think that it was the other person that was not giving me friend signals. Now I realized I was just a guilty as they were.Since reading this book, I have never, and will never have that awkward moment in a conversation again where neither person can think of anything to say thanks to a simple statement – So you…It is such a great feeling to walk in a place with a goal and using what I learned in this book to achieve that goal. One time I had to drop my car off on a Saturday for repairs on Monday. My goal was to get them to have my car ready as early on Monday as possible. That didn’t happen, instead they said they would fit me in now if that would be better for me.I had to get a shot at a pharmacy but they don’t start giving them out until 4:00 and I had a 4:15 appointment. I ended up in the area at 3:00 and really did not want to wait around. I used everything I learned in this book and I was out the door at 3:30.I have since purchased this book for my son’s and my niece.

Have you ever wanted to get better at connecting with people? Specifically, what can you do if you want others to be drawn to you? You might think of some obvious ways, such as smiling or being authentic, but these are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to attracting people and winning them over. In the book, The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over, authors Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins share practical strategies for getting an accurate read of people and positively influencing them.I have often said I try not to read too much into body language and focus more on what people are saying. It turns out, this is not a good strategy for understanding where people are coming from, as a large percentage of communication comes from almost universal non-verbal signals such as head tilts, eyebrow raises, and smiles. Who better to reveal these cues than an FBI agent trained in the skill of instantly reading a room and winning people over who are not naturally disposed toward trusting them? These methods have even been used effectively to encourage resistant informants to openly share their secrets. Fortunately, these principles are clearly presented in The Like Switch.They present a simple formula for Friendship that combines Frequency + Proximity + Duration + Intensity. If all this sounds too contrived, just consider the basic truth that people enjoy being around those who make them feel good about themselves. Actually, that’s not too far off from the Golden Rule of Jesus that says “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” (Matthew 7:12, NLT) When you are genuinely interested in someone, the Golden Rule of Friendship inspires reciprocity. They, in turn, become more interested in you.In our high-tech digital culture, it can be even harder to read the signs of whether or not you are effectively connecting with someone. The authors devote some time to helping you understand how to read the signs of honesty through social media and other types of digital communication as well so you can avoid being the victim of the latest cyber-scam or catfishing attempt.Another helpful acronym explained in the book is the word LOVE, which stands for Listen, Observe, Vocalize, and Empathize. Simply put, this reminds us to engage in active listening through eye-contact and never interrupting (something I really have to work on), looking for those non-verbal cues, respond appropriately with what you say and help them to know that you understand where they are coming from.The Like Switch is especially helpful for anyone who wants to grow in their ability to develop relationships with others. It is interesting throughout with lots of real-world examples to illustrate the ideas they present. I was personally challenged to continually grow in these skills by becoming a better reader of those non-verbal signals and to be a better listener. I highly recommend this book if you also are ready to develop these relational skills.

I am tied between two stars or four stars so I averaged. It is actually a bit of each. The book basically has two ways of writing; one by examples and stories, and one by explaining the psychology of what is going on. The latter is very dry and tough to read. The examples are perfect and I wish he had included more.Imagine you get a new stereo. I can read you the specs out of the manual that tell you how make adjustments, or I can play your favorite song and show you how to make adjustments. Same information, vastly different technique. And which one will you remember? The latter.The stories in this book are fantastic examples, and the best story is at the end. There is a section on computers and how not to get ripped off on the internet, and that section was a total waste to me and likely will be for anyone under 40. The photographs that show examples are just shy of useless. The images are small and are not even cropped to what you need to know. For example if the book says look at the eyebrows on this person, well I do not need a photo of them from the waist up. That just makes the eyebrows smaller in the final image.But now that I have read this book I can see how the Like Switch works, and what to do and not to do. And it also shows you what you already do that you may not know you do. I imagine this data is available in other publications, but the FBI angle here makes the stories more interesting. In fact I encourage the author to write of more examples to inform us of something. Play our music and show us how the sound works, don't just read to us!

This is a very interesting and readable book on a topic that would interest just about anyone: are people around us telling the truth, part of the truth or no truth at all in their interactions with us. I first listened to this book on Audible and decided to buy it and pay closer attention to some of the areas of the book that interested me the most. I liked it both audibly and in reading it. I recommend it.

I must've read 20 books on similar subjects and this is the best by far! I've worked in the field of psychology and human communication for over a decade and this book crystallises a lot of that field into some simple, easily applied techniques to quickly build rapport and establish deep long-lasting relationships.

A few useful reminders but mostly fairly basic stuff about body language, eye contact etc. I ended up flipping through the latter half of the book as it was all so blindingly obvious.

This book contains some good but basic information on verbal and non-verbal communication along with some stories on how the author has applied them during his career. Unfortunately, it is very repetitive and probably 4x longer than it needs to be. The best part of this book is the final chapter, which is mainly an extract from another author.

I well written book that helps improve awareness of what to do in business and social settings to make sure you leave others with the right impression. I primarily bout the book for business use. I would recommend the book to anyone who has a client facing role. After applying some of the suggested strategies I have seen positive results.