After the Dance: My Life with Marvin Gaye

"After The Dance: My Life With Marvin Gaye is not a sensationalized tell all, instead it is a cautionary tale of how insecurity, dysfunction and cruelty can end the greatest of loves while that love can inspire world class art. Her uncertainty and insecurity made the then young girl submit to sexual fantasies of Marvin's that she now regrets. Her inexperience led her to forego her education, move in with Marvin and in the name of love, abandon any pursuit of marketable skills while becoming financially dependent on a free spending addict. Jan also reveals how she and her late husband shared a deep spirituality as well as a mutual love of top shelf quality drugs. In the book, she has shared as much about her personal struggle with, and triumph over substances as she has shared about anyone else's.Her heartbreaking tale describes how the ill matched couple had very little chance of succeeding from the start; she had been raised in an uncertified foster care home where she'd been dumped by her loving but drug addicted mother and became the victim of sexual abuse. He had been the son of a deeply religious, evangelical cross dressing father who'd beaten Marvin mercilessly for questioning the elder's fashion sense, and daring to raise the possibility that his gender bending attire may have brought dishonor to the family name. Marvin was also a superstar depressive who had lost his way and was using copious amounts of drugs to numb the pain from the break-up of his first marriage. Jan and Marvin never had a chance.I spoke with Jan, earlier this year, via telephone. She called for the purpose of nervously reading the book's first chapter to me, and getting my opinion. She hadn't turned in her manuscript to her publisher yet, so I felt flattered by the sneak preview. I assured her that what she'd written was great, and it was, but in no way had her excerpt prepared me for the exceptionally intimate, personal and poetic work of depth and beauty that she and Ritz have delivered.Jan describe how life at the side of a glamorous '70s sex symbol was like living in the eye of a hurricane. She writes of the unscrupulous promoters, Marvin's ambivalence about performing, and his stage fright. She writes of Motown pressuring the superstar for bigger and more frequent hits. She writes of Marvin's loyalty to Motown chieftain, Berry Gordy, and Marvin's bitter resentment of Gordy's lack of appreciation for his artistic ambitions. The book insightfully examines the complications caused by Marvin's marriage to, and ultimate divorce from Gordy's sister Anna. There are also recollections of delusional managers who could not manage the great but unmanageable talent, and vignettes about accountants and business managers who could not convince Marvin to spend less frequently, save more often or pay his taxes. She has written beautifully about the gorgeous messiness of love in the shadows of stardom while it's shrouded in the fog addiction.Recently Jan and her children have been in the news as a result of having won a seven figure judgement against Pharrell Williams and Robin Thicke, in a copyright infringement lawsuit, over the contention that their "Blurred Lines" record of two summer's back too closely resembled Marvin Gaye's dance floor classic "Got To Give It Up". It has been said that the landmark decision will put a chill on musical creativity, and that a business built on sampling the work of others has been rocked at its core. Time will tell.Of course, for me, the most interesting portions of the book are the ones where Jan describes the creative process that Marvin, the hit maker, went through to come up with the albums; "Here My Dear"; "I Want You"; Let's Get It On" and the smash single "Got To Give It Up", and the subtle way that she inspired and guided Marvin to the expression of his best and higher artistic potential.This book is her love letter to her mentor, partner and former husband who was tragically murdered by the hand of the cross dressing father who vied for control of the Gaye clan with his strong willed son. It is her deeply personal confession of the adoration, confusion and regret that she felt as a result of falling up to her eyeballs in love with one of the most creative figures of the twentieth century. It proves that Marvin's spirit still speaks to all of us through his music and through this tremendously written work. For soul music fans and those who are interested in black creativity and pop culture it is a must read. Jan Gaye hit this one out of the park.

This book got a 5 star rating from me because it was written very well. But this relationship was so toxic, so all consuming, so draining and chaotic it's unbelievable. As beautiful as his songs were, the ones that spoke of peace and love Marvin thrived off of chaos. It was like a slow torture. And he didn't mind torturing himself in the process. He was a very conflicted man. He was shy but loved and constantly sought attention from others, he hated working and lacked motivation yet he was always in the studio recording, he was a frivolous, impulsive spender who hated to work and make money lol. Although Jan didn't outright say it he seemed extremely jealous of other artist. He was extremely insecure even though he feigned confidence. They were high from the start of their relationship until the end. Honestly he seemed bi-polar or in the 70s and 80s they probably would've said he was manic depressive and the drugs only made it worse and heightened his paranoia. He also was one who liked to cause storms. He would push Jan into situations that she didn't want to be in. Only for her to figure how his mind worked after a while then do exactly what he accused her of doing just to spite him in her own way. And yes it'll probably be easy for some to say "how could he coerce her into the thing's she did? She did them willingly." She was definitely coerced because she was high, she was 17 and he was a 34 year old married man with a child and he drilled in her head how the reason his and Anna's relationship didn't work was because she was too "domineering, controlling and mother-like" and he preferred a more demure, meek, submissive woman. And she really tried to be that for a while. He liked to play mind games with her emotions. Give her love then take it back. Show her affection and attention then deprive her of it. He was a master manipulator. The only person who seemed to have him pegged was his brother Frankie. But then it got bad and they went from having a rollercoaster relationship to a hamster wheel relationship. It just kept going in circles and they couldn't get off no matter how sick it made them. They were both two broken people who didn't need to be in relationships with anyone other than God. They just couldn't seem to get over their failures. Life had failed them both. Their parents failed them and ultimately they failed each other. I started this book and a few pages in I was disgusted with him and his attraction to young girls. I was disgusted with the things Jan was doing at 14, 15, 16 and 17. I was even more disgusted that her mom let her do it. And I finished this book still disgusted but with a better understanding of both of their traumas that drew their dysfunction to each other like a moth to a flame. He liked causing confusion and chaos and creating a challenge because it was the "Berry way" it was the "Motown way" and she honestly didn't feel like she deserved any better because she'd loved him since she was 8 years old and had saw him on tv. She thought he was a prize and shrunk herself and her dreams in order to help him fulfill his. This is a sad, cautionary tale of sex, love, soul, rhythm, blues, drugs, SEX, chaos, SEX, drugs and did I mention SEX!!!! Y'all really out here muting R. Kelly but he was R. Kelly in the 70s #MuteMarvinGaye because all the songs y'all liked from 1973-1983 were about a little girl.

Addictive. I Couldn’t put it down. A honest, raw, and easy read. Not only was it a good romance story it also focused on the drug Rise during that time and how impacted the world. From weed to cocaine to crack; people not from that era got a glimpse into the freedom and ignorance of the impact drugs would eventually have. I became so captivated with this story I forgot that I knew how the story would end. I found myself even rooting for their love to work our. I forget I was reading about a superstar. It was relatable and I decided to buy after listening to Marvin “I want you” album on replay for weeks. I think I may read it again. Lol.

Other comments on this book made it sound like it was highly graphic and disturbing but I didn't find it that way at all. I think Jan was honest about her experience with Marvin without being too graphic. I love memoirs on musicians and their associates. Musicians are such fascinating creatures. I enjoyed reading about what it was like for Jan dating one of the top recording artists and being associated with the music industry. I am very sad Marvin's life was so troubled and I wish Jan and her children nothing but the best. And btw, I got this book used but it was in near perfect condition. Keeping this book forever. Now I'm off to read Ritz's book on Marvin. :)

This can make for very uncomfortable reading for someone such as me - a massive Marvin Gaye fan. It sadly documents his drastic decline into world of drugs.Despite the fact that I find it questionable that the author could remember so many conversations in so much detail and from so long ago, it made for compelling reading nonetheless.

Marvin Gaye warts and all. A record of life with a fragile superstar.

Book in great condition great read if you like Motown and Marvin great read

Eeeeeeek, awful. Divided Soul by David Ritz was superb but I wanted Janis' perspective. Badly written, puerile and dull. Don't bother.

Very good