Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter: An Intimate Autobiography of Intellectual Rebellion and Existentialism in 1920s France with Jean-Paul Sartre (Perennial Classics)

Philosophy’s gravitational wave is coming, and will move across her life . . . Beauvoir’s mother was a fundamentalist Catholic and required subservience to that worldview. She did her best to inculcate her daughter with its tenets and practices, emphasizing the safety it provided, to women in particular. That safety and stability, supporting the structure of family life, also required an abstinence from thinking, curiosity, and freedom (though all were subverted in various, subconscious, ways). Religion pervaded Simone’s existence as she faithfully went through an education at a Catholic school, believed in the efficacy of confession, and the power of prayer. But, slowly, the pervasiveness began to recede, as she observed and questioned ideas and ideals, and learned of other worldviews through her own efforts. Autocracy, with its companion hypocrisy, became apparent at the school. She read books that were banned by her mother, finding them in a relative’s home. A young boy named Jacques gave her books to read, which she gladly accepted. The loosening hold of religion was caused as well by her recognition of its superficiality in those who professed the greatest belief. One who had been her confessor betrayed her confidence. And then, in her personal life, she discovered prayer failed her. Ultimately, religion was not imbued within her, but was mostly an external accretion. She took some time to grow and break the accretion with a conscious choice. The accretion had been porous, partly due to her inquiring mind, and possibly, partly to her father who was not a believer. He was a person who wrapped himself in fantasy. Their financial, social, and inter-family circumstances, revealed the inadequacy of such a life. Her mother’s tolerance of her father’s non-belief raised questions. Was her mother only with her father because she had no choice, as a woman, in that time and place, to survive and bring up children with a modicum of stability? And so he was simply an accommodation, an appurtenance, with no further value than the earthly usefulness he provided? On the other hand, and I think Beauvoir sensed this, he was her mother’s outlet, her portal to moments of freedom. In him she could release her rebellion. Once she had broken with religion, creating a separation from her mother, Beauvoir felt free and ready to start a new life. Her struggles were not over, though; they had just begun in earnest. Simone was still living at home while pursuing higher education, trapped in an atmosphere of denial and obedience. Restlessly, she walked the city streets, which she had been told were off-limits, looking for new ways to be, for places and people to try out her new-found freedom. She never thought, she said, to go into the cafés. Instead, she went further, into clubs where she and her friends Zaza and Stepha indulged in sexual licentiousness and vulgarity, and met people who lived on the margins. Her relationship with her childhood friend Jacques had changed over the years. She began to consider him as a potential husband. He was elusive, though, and her misgivings about him grew. He would not be her intellectual equal, even though he had helped her on her way at crucial times in the past. She knew she was supposed to seek the stability of marriage, but after much confusion, she realized her hopes were a mistake. Marriage was not for her, she concluded. Beauvoir had some character flaws that come to light here. She idealized Zaza and Jacques, and obsessed about them, only to learn later they had not thought about her much at all. During these experiences, however, she was working through social questions. These people aided her as well in her philosophical education. But her idealization was over the top, which she acknowledged in the case of the teachers who had once inspired her. She also thought of herself as superior to the unwashed masses. Her revels in the clubs as a teenager and young adult are not unusual. Her crush on her childhood friend wasn’t either. She was different in the talent she had for abstract thinking. She was honest about her idealizations and her snobbery. At one point, she noted she “loved to be loved,” and was surprised to find herself not being lauded outside her family, but instead, banished from society. She wrote with irony about her “insane optimism” in response to ideas and causes, and how this only added to her solitude. Her philosophical conversations and social analysis with other girls and women made me think: thank you! We read, think, and are concerned with the great mysteries, including questions of rebellion and living a worthwhile life, with authenticity and freedom. Her greatest mission was to pursue an education, first compromising to study for a teaching job, but finally, to study philosophy. At the same time, she was engaged in community efforts to bring education to working class and poor people. The inspiration for this came from a leftist teacher and speaker. With refreshing humor, she related how, eventually, she lied to her mother about going to this volunteer job, only to really go to a film, ballet, or one of the clubs. All the while she experienced extreme loneliness, the sense she didn’t fit in, as she roamed the streets, studied alone in the library, and attended class at the Sorbonne. When and how did she meet Sartre? If you don’t want to know until you’ve read the book, then don’t read the rest of this review! She longed for intellectual dialogue, for someone who could challenge her, for someone who was her superior. One after another, intellectual companions came along, and fell away. Slowly, the dim-witted men of great intelligence realized they had met their match. One was a member of Sartre’s “group.” He referred her to the group, telling her Sartre had found her interesting. She threw all her arguments at him, and he refuted them. Well, this was what she had been looking for. But as we know, and so did he to his credit, she had something to contribute, which he could not, and this kept an interest and tension between them that fueled continuous thinking and dialogue. Her relationships with a parade of men and women who were questioning the old ways were fascinating. Each one brought a different point of view and beliefs. The story often comes back to her relationship with Zaza, who also had a restrictive mother. She tried to be a good friend, although Zaza’s mother disapproved of her. At the end of the book, Zaza died of a sudden illness, after some years of failing health. She said of Zaza’s death, “We had fought together against the revolting fate that had lain ahead of us, and for a long time I believed that I had paid for my own freedom with her death.” This sounds eerily similar to the Jesus-Hercules stories of sacrifice for the betterment of the people (although a female version). Or was it survivor’s guilt? In any case, Beauvoir had managed to free herself and create her own life. And so the wave of human questioning and knowledge goes on.

de Beauvoir's contribution to my life's philosphy is profound and this book also reminds me that my personal life experience shares so much similarities with her creative audacity. When comes to women's existential experience, in this book she narrates an a-hostorical reality, i.e., the separation between borders are just the geographic demarcation when comes to the oppressive reality for women to giving life while being condemened to living a life by giving up on her life is as universal as being condemned to be a beast of burden forever across the border and beyond the history. Yes, de Beauvoir is my spiritual big sister, she teaches me to endure with dignity that captures the bitter truth of being a female living in the desert of reality, that is giving everything for nothing.

"Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter" is an exhaustive look at early life of Simone de Beauvoir. The autobiography explains four stages in the development of her life from age 0-20. I recommend this book to anyone interested in the life of Simone de Beauvoir or for an account of bourgeois upbringing in the early 20th century. I do have some complaints. First, the first half of the book is exceptionally exhaustive. She gives detailed descriptions of things that could have easily been summarized. Second, I was expecting this book to elaborate on Beauvoir's early relationship with Sartre. Roughly ten pages are dedicated to Sartre. While her description of Sartre is effusive, it's very short! Third, her memoirs give only a starting point for her intellectual curiosity. I guess I'll have to read "The Prime of Life" :)

I love Simone de Beauvoir and have read The Second Sex as well as The Mandarins and She Came to Stay. She is a great writer. Here though she goes into the minutiae of her childhood memories. For women who have been stifled and formed by a domineering mother, and who finally rebelled, this book will resonate as it did for me. But every episode of her childhood is so long winded that it was hard for me to keep interested.

Very nice read with lots of insight on bringing up complexions, personality development, relationships and perception of the world/God. However, I found it unnecessarily long with some parts too much detailed oriented... Could have been easily 50 pages shorter.

Simone de Beauvoir's Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter, which was published in 1958, not only is a great insight into Parisian and French life at the turn of the 20th Century, but shows the growth of a great writer. Her seminal work, The Second Sex, which was published in 1948, made her a star--a writer ticked off about how women had been treated in society. From that book onward, her insights and philosophy, along with Sartre and other intellectuals, made the world sit up and take notice. De Beauvoir, in Dutiful Daughter, shows you a single-minded young girl who suddenly becomes a beautiful woman with a lot on her mind. One of the great thinkers, along with Hanna Arendt, of our time.

One of Beauvoir's best, A very insightful memoir.

Beautifully written. Flowed like poetry!

I'm not far into this but find it a delight to read. The descriptions are rich, though I do wonder how anyone can remember their pre-verbal life!

As a woman, if you don't appreciate this book ~ well, then I really know why the world is turning to fascism

I think de Beauvoir must have been a most unlikeable person in the flesh, but her writing in this memoir is fresh, visual, and utterly modern.

Looking forward to reading this book.