Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning

I absolutely loved this book of essays. Each one had its own unique perspective, and each one tackled a facet of the author's life with authenticity and focus. This is not a flashy tell-all memoir - it's a collection of perfectly executed pictures that, when placed side by side, illustrate the moments that made this woman who she is. There is power in what the author doesn't disclose - moments of missing memory, breaks in dialogue, cuts that span days - but that's what made it so satisfying to read. By not over-telling her story, the author kept me engrossed the whole way through the book, and made me hungry to discover more and more about her and her world.I also loved the fact that she was unafraid to be (gasp) an unlikeable female narrator, perhaps the most revolutionary choice a woman can make. She dared to expose her shortcomings and bad decisions, and to stop herself from apologizing or prostrating herself at the feet of the reader. Without saying it outright, she told me, "I did this for my own reasons, and I'm not sorry, because I'm here. I made it. I survived." For those of us who have stumbled and tripped on the way to personhood, it's refreshing to read amazing prose from a woman who understands that our foibles and mistakes help shape us as people - and, perhaps most importantly, if the journey doesn't result in us becoming a perfect, moral, upstanding member of society, that's okay. We don't have to be sorry if we're imperfect. We just have to keep going.

A big effort was made here for a rather small reach. Dederer's story felt mostly to me like a longwinded rationalization for her exceptionalism & class privilege and disingenuous apology for her unremarkable sexual desire.Those two threads could've been contained in a few chapters of one book on a more compelling story, but I must say they are beautifully written and so a pleasure to read. Four stars for the skilled prose, a fifth withheld for her level of self-awareness that only goes so far. I kept wishing she could see how transparent her schtick really is, but perhaps in her crowd this is as deep as it gets. I agree with a previous reviewer's recommendation of The Wild Oats Project, a braver, sexier and highly insightful exploration of a middle-aged married woman's sexual frustration & desire.Memoirists must either embrace their authentic journey in service to their readers (and themselves), or delve into their dark side with real guts and wrenching honesty. Wild Oats does the former, and while Dederer purports to do the latter she ultimately does neither.

Don't you hate it when you are so obsessed with a book that you wind up reading it cover to cover in one sitting? I should have probably given more than 3 stars, but after being up until 5am, maybe I'm feeling conservative and I'm just now on my first cup of coffee 4 1/2 hours later:). Go ahead and get the book and read it yourself. However, if you are ultra conservative (you know who you are!), pass on this one. However, if when you were a girl/teen/young adult you made some fairly self destructive decisions you may find this memoir fascinating, haunting and healing. Life goes on, ladies. I think what Claire left me with is that we needn't bury and forget the past. Sometimes even the present at times. But coming to that realization after a lot of deep soul searching was lengthy and painful for her. Something about "the truth shall set you free" comes to mind. And apparently, part of that truth is there are many accomplished adults who struggled but went on to grasp the accessories of success (family, home, career, social standing). Some still silently struggle (you're not alone). I surely didn't plan to read this in one sitting (propped up in bed), but that's exactly what happened. No bookmark for this one. Hmm. Thanks, Claire. What you shared hit close to home at times. I think I'll go through it again and pace myself, like we all should, but sometimes we just consume too much, too soon and too often. (Class of 1980, Somewhere in Texas).

This riveting, revealing self-exploration will be read by women everywhere....and should be read by men everywhere. Among the many layers of message and meaning in this book is its brilliant depiction of how our culture entraps women from childhood on, in ways subtle, imperceptible, obvious, and gross. All of this is delivered not as pontification but as One Woman's (Complicated) Story...alternately inspiring and horrifying, it is (while intensely personal) Everywoman's story in one way or another. I would expect women everywhere to identify strongly with so much of what the author describes here, and expect men to react with enlightening shame and shock at much of it as well. This also is a beautifully, tightly written book...an absolute pleasure to read for the writerly craft alone. (Kind of an oddly perfect sensation, now that I think about it: a painful book that's a pleasure to read.)

The only fully developed character in Dederer's memoir is Claire, but that was ok because I liked her, and boy, can she write. If you're a woman born in the late 1960's or early 1970's you must read this book. She perfectly captures ethos of growing up in the 70's and 80's when parents were much more concerned with finding themselves than they were with parenting; and she is spot-on at describing the angst particular to women who find their faces and bodies changing and spot their own mortality on the horizon.

I try to give books the benefit of the doubt, to be committed even when the going gets tough but, at the end of this one I felt like I’d lost a little bit of my life. Long chapters compiled of lists, back and forth narrative through time that didn’t always make sense and confusion of fantasy and reality at times. If you are like me and tend to finish books you start, don’t start this one

Bought on a whim after reading a guardian interview with her and identifying myself in her.This book has arrived at just the right time in my life. I needed it. I've actually bent the corners on the pages which contain passages I want to remember.Its written like a rambling conversation which is tricky to get your head around at first. I did feel especially sad as she recounted her time in Australia.

The book had quite a few stains on the front which I wasn't expecting

A charming memoir by a 40 something woman about her declining value in the sexual marketplace. If true, this is indeed a sad tale but her delightful writing is uplifting.

I decided to purchase this book based on a shout out from Elizabeth Gilbert, but I personally did not enjoy it as much as I was hoping.