It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

A colleague of mine encouraged me to read this book, when I was working in a forensic high secure hospital - I was busy learning about trauma based therapy and this book has played a great role in helping me understand my patients and a lot about myself as well.

A fabulously insightful book that has enabled me to look at the 'events' that have happened throughout my life through a very different lense, to the point that I couldn't put it down because I was intrigued to join up the dots of my history and discover insights and even answers that I never would have had I not read this book. I highly recommend reading this book and I thank the author Mark Wolynn for writing it 😊

This book has changed so much about how I view my own issues in life and core complaints. So many useful tips and exercises whilst explaining the theory behind it in detail. Lots to pick apart and be thoughtful about, takes you through it step by step to understand trauma and root causes. Loads of examples to help you apply to your own life and research based evidence. Must read!

I read this after reading Body Keeps the Score. I wanted to continue my journey of exploring the physiological holding of trauma and the ancestral passing down of trauma. Unfortunately, Wolynn’s account didn’t live up to the scientific robustness that van der Kolk’s book did. I found this book to be really interesting, to have some very important and useful insights to consider when thinking about people’s journey to being where they are and the history and wounds preceding them that are undoubtedly affecting them consciously or completely unconsciously. However, information was often displayed as if it were fact, when it was more anecdotal in experience, and there was a lot of repetition that made it hard to engage and continue engaging at certain junctures. I found it to labour the same points repeatedly, to the point where I was challenging the author’s bias and personal feelings towards the concepts. It sometimes slipped into feeling like an opinion piece rather than scientific endeavours or explorations. It also has a pseudo-therapeutic approach to helping people explore their ancestral history and trauma that may affect them, with anecdotal examples that could be relatable. But it almost feels like every situation and every question are covered, in an almost coverall way, so everything provides evidence of the author’s hypothesis. I am a big believer in ancestral trauma and the passing down of visceral experiences through bodies (and minds and hearts and souls). I came into this book expecting it to be more scientific and critical than I felt it actually was. However, that all being said, I’m glad I read it, but I will be seeking out other books on the topic to provide a more rounded view.

This is a mind-blowing book. I can't put it down. it brings together into one page-turning narrative all the research and science from Jung and Freud and more recent studies, research and findings to explain how we work as human beings and as part of our families. By discovering stress and trauma experienced by biological relatives, the author shows how developing science and understanding can lead to deep healing of our psyches. He shares his own examples and those from his experiences from people he has healed. He shows how there is a mixture of hormones, the brain and the body's response to stress and trauma works to protect us but can be at odds with our environment. ultimately, the books leads us out of the darkness showing how awareness and acceptance can resolve any issues. When we understand other's trauma and biology it is much easier to bond with our shared experience. This book is for everyone.

A book that was enjoyed.

This book is supposed to be brand new. It arrived half an hour ago and I’m not sure why I’ve been sent a damaged one. No pages have been written on and the rest of the book is fine but it’s just disappointing. Especially when you’re paying full price for a new book.

Brilliant. Has the power to transform your relationships with family members - past and present.

Ordered this out of interest in epigenetics and family patterns, and it ended up being one of the more impactful books I’ve read on the subject. The core idea—that trauma can be passed down across generations—really comes through in a way that’s both accessible and thought-provoking. It connects emotional patterns with inherited history in a way that makes you look at your own story differently. What stood out most is how it frames epigenetics in a practical, human way. It’s not just theory—it walks through real examples and gives language to things people often sense but can’t quite explain. After reading through it, it definitely stretched how I think about behavior, memory, and what we carry forward from previous generations. I wouldn’t say I agreed with every interpretation, but that didn’t take away from the overall value. It’s the kind of book that makes you pause, reflect, and revisit certain sections. Compared to other books on epigenetics, this one stands out for how personal and applicable it feels rather than purely scientific. For the price, it’s a great value. There’s a lot here, and it’s the kind of book you’ll likely come back to rather than read once and move on. If you’re interested in epigenetics, inherited patterns, or understanding deeper family dynamics, this is a strong read.

Lo leí antes de este boom que están teniendo las constelaciones familiares. Me ayudo a confirmar muchas dudas/teorías que yo estaba teniendo sobre mi persona y de cómo lo estaba relacionando con la forma de ser de mis papas, tíos y abuelos. Me dio calma al saber que no me lo estaba imaginando ya que si existe el impacto que dejan y forman tu persona.

cool book

Great read to know about family dynamics and transgenerational trauma healing.

Well written, plain English description and examples, backed up by all the links and research references. Could be a breakthrough for many people. The unease you carry could have been installed in earlier generations and never "discharged" , hence it can reside in you. You can get rid of it.