Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself

I don't usually leave book reviews but this one has had a profound impact on my life - no exaggeration. You really need to read the book, and take the information in. I personally didn't do many of the exercises in there, but I made a clear mental note of what I was reading, and made notes on the paragraphs and quotes from the book that I thought would help me best.I ordered this book a while ago, and after reading it I completely forgot it existed. I randomly had a thought about it today and looked over the past few months and I can honestly say I feel so much more confident in myself...I went on holiday a couple of weeks back and went solo to a Jet Ski tour company, as a shy introvert, doing anything alone like this would have absolutely scared me to death a year ago, but I breezed through it. There are tons of other examples of me being more confident and generally standing up for myself.My success may not be 100% related to this book, I've been on a wild journey reading a few other books and also getting some therapy, but I genuinely thing this book was the catalyst that made me realise how bad my nice guy tendencies where, and how much more worthy I am to be treated with respect, strongly express my boundaries and be fearless when telling people my needs and how I feel. Truly amazing.

I dont know how but the author combines perfectly self help with psychotherapy.The best self help book i have ever read.You always read these "people pleasing" list of traits which i neer identifed with. On his i found things i neverexpected. One was fear of retaliation.He also explains very well the consequences of being too nice like isolation.Im a clinical psychologyst and mostly read psychological books that are more scientific. I think if one buys this book and a book on investing in stock market, his life will be already 70% better.Not to mention that by not using the trendy "asserrive" term but the term "dont be nice", he really breaks through our psychological resistance. Because you gend to be assertive (whatever that means) but still be nice. But the fear that he is not nice is whst keeps someone as a people pleaser. So well done in breaking through my resistance and make me understand that for a while, i will have to tolerate the fear that people are not happy with me for putting myself first. Thats the key.Well done!

My god! I'm blown away by this book. It's like reading about myself. The 5 specters of niceness all fit in with me so well. I knew that niceness comes with a cost but like the author, i too felt too guilty to do or say anything. I was just being nice, kind and compassionate . Reading this book has given me in depth insight into what actual cost i'm bearing for my niceness . Why do i feel undervalued ? why do i have constant headaches? . I understand myself much better now and like Aziz mentioned here, they are all unintentional; we have acquired and adapted niceness from our childhood experiences and many other factors in life. I'm so ready to dive into part 2 of the book which talks about actioning. I'm ready to change my destiny because i know i'm worth much more and being too nice just drains you. I highly recommend this book. Cheers to all the nice people in the world :)

Fantastic book, really helpful and insightful and not boring to read, the Author is fantastic and upbeat and it's making alot of sense to me!! I am halfway through and am well impressed, glad I spent what I thought at first was too much money, but I feel it's been worth it so far 😊

I read self help books. It’s what I do! I’ve read too many to mention.. This is an exception. I started by noticing where I wasn’t saying ‘no’.. I didn’t use the word NO at all in my daily life! I’d say Not today but maybe …, nor did I use the word disagree.. i might say.. I actually like it to be honest 😳.. and sorry, sorry, oh sorry, I apologize, pardon me ALOT! I simply changed this, and stopped helping a few times in the day where I normally would! Oh my goodness, feelings got real for me! I help way too much and it didn’t feel nice! I thought where the hell am I in all this? The journey begins.. valuable book! Please read and share! Thank you 🙏 oh, and do the exercises!! All of them

Amazing. Easy read. Helped me change my nice persona to an authentic me. Ended my relationship which was going nowhere and only lastest as long as it did because I was self sacrificing. No more. Here's to the new me .. and guess what? I like me far better than I did before reading this book.Read loads of books but this one isdefinitely one I won't forget. Utterly brilliant. Thank you for making a middle aged lady free from the constraints of being nice to appease other. Thankyou for allowing me to finally be authentic. You wonderful man!

The book is really good. However, the pages are coming out easily what makes reading quite difficult, at least for me.I have expected a better of printed book.

This is Dr Aziz's third book that introduces us to a subject that literally affects every one of us in various spheres of life. At work, in relationships, public life, family et cetera. Dr Azis unfolds what's really behind our behavior that at first might seem like the right impulses yet in the closer look proof quite the opposite, quoting famous French diplomat Tallyerand "Mistrust first impulses; they are nearly always good!."This book will help you to put yourself in the first place, instead of even unconsciously be peoples pleaser becoming "yourself pleaser" for your own and even others good, after all in your universe the most important person is you and that's how it should be!The book is large, full of valuable and thoughtful observations that will make reading fast and pleasurable, it's got 15 chapters that I'm sure from each one of them you will extract knowledge that will stick with you and make you more aware in your everyday behaviors.This book abolishes some old steorotypes and provides a fresh, detailed look on the subject.I would recommend this book to anyone who is into self improving and is looking for practical means of seeing how it's done.

This book was exactly what i needed, and I continue to go back to it. I read on kindle first which is probably good because the length was less intimidating. But I bought the paperback So I could go back through the chapters and reread hearts that I need. I will continue to go back to this book and review the concepts and exercises. Two help develop my ability to be not nice. I don't mind the repetition and informal tone; it made it fun to read and helps the concepts stick.

Spectacular read. Thank you Aziz for instilling and uncovering the power within me that I did not know that I had!

Interessantes Buch mit vielen verschiedenen Ansätzen

Lo he comprado ya dos veces. Una en libro físico (lo tengo lleno de post-its y notas) y el otro en digital ... porque así me va más cómodo para resumir lo importante en una libreta..Aziz es increíblemente sabio, ojalá tradujera sus libros al español y le viéramos más por redes, porque este hombre tiene MUCHO que ofrecer. Me ha ayudado enormemente su trabajo. Thanks Aziz!

I have suffered from being too nice and a people pleaser. I got reference of this book from a udemy course that I had taken up. I could relate with this book so much.. As I kept on reading I felt, yes it is me 101. I have read a book earlier on people pleasing but the difference between that book and this is it is from the author who himself has suffered from it, so the tips are so practical and so liberating once I started putting it in to action. I have found this book very useful and it has given me a new belief in my self and confidence. I am looking forward to read other books on confidence by Dr. Aziz.