The Gifts of Imperfection: 10th Anniversary Edition: Features a New Foreword and Brand-New Tools (paperback)

I don't say "life-changing" very often especially when it comes to self-help books, as there is so much dross out there. However, Brene Brown's book is an amazing revelation. I am one of those people who's a chronic perfectionist and has always struggled with just being real, being me, feeling that this is enough. My coach recommended this book around the same time that a friend sent me a link to Brene Brown's TEDx Talk on the subject of vulnerability & shame (highly recommended - google it!). Her style of writing makes it feel like she's a friend telling you all of this fascinating stuff over a coffee. Her work is heavily research based so I have no doubts about its validity - and the real kicker is that not only is (was) she a perfectionist herself but her research led her on this journey of discovery which resulted in a "breakdown" and a total realigning of her values and ideas about self-worth and feeling "I am enough". I've always found most texts on self worth etc to just fail to hit the mark, but Brown's book hit me between the eyes; perhaps the time in my life was perfect and I was ready to receive the message. I've already had some amazing results having embraced the idea of imperfection and vulnerability, in terms of having some very real, very close friendships develop. So to summarise the last paragraph, as well as being research-based, she backs this up with her own experiences, as well as countless experiences of other people who've posted to her website/blog. Where the book fell short of expectations (only a little), is that I don't feel it does quite enough to help the reader figure out how to apply it to their lives. Brown divides the book up into 10 "guideposts" (sub-concepts, basically) and at the end of each guidepost chapter she gives a kid of an exercise to make you think about how you can apply it (sometimes using her own examples of how she achieves this). But I found these a bit brief and was left wanting more "how-to". Maybe I'm lazy, or expecting too much, but I was kinda hoping for a little more instruction/direction. That said, perhaps I'm being naive - perhaps it simply isn't feasible or possible to do that, because each person is unique, and so are their circumstances. One of the most subtle but fundamental effects this book will have on you, is that by the end of it you will feel like you know Brene Brown, that you see her as a vulnerable imperfect lovely person whom you could meet randomly by chance and have a great conversation with, a real honest conversation with no b.s. and no pretence. But that is not the fundamental subtle effect I'm talking about - what I'm saying is that this nice feeling towards her, is an implicit demonstration of how vulnerability and imperfection and being real, are the very qualities that foster better & deeper connections with other human beings. Her book is one giant demonstration of how her own honesty and courage make her a wonderful person - she leads by example time and time again and this is what makes this book incredible - she didn't just research & publish something, she lived it and breathed it, then had the courage to include her very personal experiences in the book. This I feel is leading by example, and inspired me to have the courage to drop the b.s. pretence and be myself. If you buy this book, bear in mind that you will have to read it twice. Why? Because the first time you read it, you'll be pretty riveted and won't want to stop reading to take notes or write down any ideas you have about how to apply it to your own life. I plan to read it a second time and to write a page or so of bullet-points, things to apply to daily life. The concepts are of course going to be new to many of you, so don't be surprised if you don't get it at first. As in all areas of life, breakthroughs are often preceded by confusion! I'd like to see a 2nd edition of this book come out some day with some more specific methods of applying this. That said, Brene Brown has had a major impact on me and I'm very grateful for it - I really think her work could change a lot of peoples' lives.

I think this book is about finding courage. Courage to be your true authentic self. To discover what has been preventing you from allowing yourself to be just that. Courage to start believing that in order to feel joy in our lives, we have to let go of the belief that says that we're not worthy of love of belonging. Or a belief that says we have to hustle for it and fit in. If we don't do that we simply betray our soul. Which often causes us to suffer. Living authentically is not easy in today's culture. When you start doing it - you will start annoying some people in your life. Practicing vulnerability is not easy either. We need to be careful who we share our stories with. By staying compassionate and connected towards/with ourselves we stay connected. Connected to thing called life. We accept ourselves fully. And that's difficult. That's because it will involve setting boundaries and holding others accountable for their behaviour. And what often prevents us from doing all the above ? Shame. A fear that we're unlovable. But the good news is, that we're all capable of developing shame resilience. We have to realize that it's important to talk about it. It's important to respond to shame. If we don't, it will just keep growing, making us miserable and inauthentic. Choosing authenticity is not easy. But it's important to recognise which areas in our lifes we can practice letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. Areas such as relationships, parenting, work, friendships, hobbies and play time. Being real can feel risky. But I think there's even greater risk: hiding yourself and your gifts from the world. We also have to let go of perfectionism. It exists on a continuum and we all have it to some degree. It often stops us from succeeding in life. It may lead to depression, anxiety and addiction. We often think that perfectionism will protect us, whereas in fact it stops us from being seen. Nobody is perfect. We all have "cracks". And when we're able to stop hiding them, this is where our "light" can come through. In a beautiful, authentic, imperfect way. In summary, this book reminded me of why we're here: to connect with one another, with the world, with our passions. Through vulnerability and courage. So as a result we can connect with: our true selves ❤️

Apparently this book has been around since 2010 but it was only when I was tipped off by Leonie Dawson (I am a member of her academy) that I sat down to read this. First of all, I was immediately taken by how (Dr.) Brown begins the book by talking about how she found herself in the midst of this life changing epiphany. She had spent years as a researcher studying the effects of shame. She quickly started to see that the thousands of people she had studied over the years could break down into two basic groups: Those who were unhappy and unfulfilled in their lives, and those, as she defines as living “wholeheartedly.” I loved how she broke down her approach to data (in this case the patterns of human behaviour) and broke it down into a guide for living, which she calls guideposts. Brown’s guideposts don’t lend themselves to that outcome; instead each one highlights the two alternatives, one unbalanced or “imperfect” way of interacting with the world and one more authentic, inspired “wholehearted” way. The language she chooses is important, each guidepost is about “letting go” of one alternative while “cultivating” the other alternative, reinforcing the message that the work is an on-going process (not a check list). There are ten guideposts in all and they address a variety of topics from work to play, self-doubt to perfectionism, and anxiety to coolness. The guideposts all inspire, encourage, and enable a non-judgmental self-assessment, as Brown continues to model. The last part of each guidepost is a “DIG deep” prompt, which is the guiding suggestions of what to do about the conundrum of how to change. The acronym DIG stands for Deliberate, Inspire, and Going, as in the path to change requires one to be “deliberate in their thoughts and behaviours through prayer, meditation, or simply setting their intention; inspired to make new and different choices; going. they take action.” ​ This book won’t give you the “more” you desire, but it will point you in the right direction. Some of the directions it points are pretty unexpected, but I think they are right on target.

What a fabulous book! Amazon did not fail to deliver on time and well packaged. This was recommended to me by a friend who had seen this lady on Oprah Winfrey Show. I have been teaching for a short time 'Life Tools' to older women who are looking to progress in their lives. All our messages through being young women are that we are never quite good enough, whether you are mum; a wife; a career woman or just trying to be you. And what is wrong with that? Ditch the labels. All women seem to put so much pressure on themselves to be the person others want to see. This book enlightens the soul and accept our imperfections, which believe me is part of our journey. This is what we all talk about rather than our destination. Always! I do recommend this book to all my ladies and to you the Amazon reader and salute the writer Brene Brown for having the guts to face up to her own issues in order to write this. We are perfectly imperfect and you will not be disappointed as the language was written for all. Please mum's give this to your teenage sons and daughters, so that they do not fall into lifestyle traps.

A rather enchanting explanation of how we can move out of our own way and to live a more fulfilled and 'wholehearted' life and tell our own 'story' backed by research and evidence. I think what enhances this book for me is the feeling of 'that makes sense' when concepts are explained and that often when conflict arises its not always someone else's fault but caused by judgment and fear on your own part. As someone with self-doubt, the following struck a particular spot for me: "Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we're enough and letting go of what the world says we're supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves" (p 115). Its not a long book, its not instructive, just informative and helpful and an enjoyable read in my opinion.

I find Brené’s work fascinating. Really valuable, really pertinent, and in many ways empowering. I found her writing style to be too much of a mix between personal spoken colloquial description of experience and attempt at justifying the professionalism and the science. Without fully explaining the science. I do get that it’s about conveying the main ideas to the mass audience and those with deeper interest will go and research. I just find it sometimes a hard sell about the grounded theory approach and a seeming lack of awareness that there is researcher bias and ‘here’s how mine plays out’. It feels too preachy and takes away from the message which is the research. I’ll continue to read the research but not the books.

This is an amazing book - an absolute must read for anyone on the journey of soul-searching and on the path of growth. An absolute gem of a book. It brought about so many deep realisations on many levels while reading and listening to it. A rare book in the crowded market of personal development which truly helps in personal, emotional and spiritual growth. I resonated with the author at so many levels! When I downloaded the sample and read through the first page, I felt as if Brene Brown was telling my story - I immediately knew I had to read it. I also bought the audiobook as I find the best way that works for me is by listening to it first and then quickly reading through the book and highlighting the most profound sections and taking notes in the Kindle so I can come back to it when I need to. Cannot recommend highly enough!

Love Brene Brown and been toying to get this book for ages because imperfection etc all came back up. This book I'm only half way through but I let it seep in and learn on the go. Her insights made me have so many aha moments and I love that she encourages you to write things at the back of the book, things you like, quotes, things you want to find more of... That's super helpful because beforehand I just had thousands of bookmarks in a book but it stays fragmented or let's say I forget what's in it. When I pick other books up I actually started this process the same and yes it takes longer but if feels like it seeps in more and I retain information and learn better this way.

Brene Covers so many things in this book that it deserves at least a few reads to digest everything. After a research on how "Whole-hearted" people live, she found out that these people had a certain perspective on life and embraced a few practices regularly that made a huge change in how open they were to life. After finishing this book, I picked up quite a few distinctions worth applying. When you feel shame, the reflex that is conditioned in our society, heck even more conditioned in INDIAN society is to be embarrassed. Shame can come from so many angles, but so many of us are strangled by our introverted world views that we do not give enough credit to ourselves as being people who DESERVE to feel. When you feel shame, DON'T HIDE, instead, open up! There's chapters on cultivating authenticity, being more compassionate towards our own selves and giving ourselves the love and acceptance we deserve. To anyone who's looking to read a book, this book is rated #1 on Self Esteem, even though I believe Nathaniel Branden's works are better in that department, but this book EXCELS. It is definitely worth a read and a re read and it will bring a different courageous angle to the way you see life. It did to mine when I thought, what's wrong with singing in public. I tried, I sucked and I laughed about it haha At the end of every chapter, there's suggestions on how to apply the lesson called DIG deep, get inspired and get going. They offer valuable suggestions on how to use the info and other books and authors that cover the topics in details Definitely worth a read.

When I started my personal growth journey I was searching for books that would help me overcome my personal struggles related to self esteem as well as personal acceptance and I came across this book "The gifts of imperfection" by Brené Brown. Although it has been awhile since I've read this book I still remember the impact it had on me even after all these years later (I purchased this book July 11th, 2022 and read it throughout the summer). I really enjoyed how the author described compassion towards oneself and I was able to relate a lot to what the author was describing which really resonated with me. Psychology is timeless and what is mentioned in her book will forever be useful in the future. Personally this book has been nothing less than exceeded expectations, a lot of people can learn from this author to contribute to their personal growth and well being. This book is a great stepping stone into the right direction if you're serious about change in your life. Looking back from where I was in my life to where I'am currently I couldn't be happier and this book contributed to my happiness. I'm also proud of myself for becoming more proactive and have taken the decision to have read this book.

Ho acquistato questo libro dopo avere visto, per un centinaio di volte, il video TED di Brené Brown "The power of vulnerability". Non posso certamente dire che sono rimasto deluso dal testo, anche se, ahimé, debbo dire che l'autrice ripete SEMPRE-LE-STESSE-COSE, ovunque. Online, su riviste, e sui libri che scrive (sempre la stessa solfa). Sicuramente può aiutare chi si trova in un periodo di transizione. A mio avviso, per dirla con le parole di Umberto Galimberti, è un libro che avvicina all'intelligenza emotiva, e allontana dal pericolosissimo "analfabetismo emotivo"; insomma, si capisce come (secondo la sua teoria, che peraltro condivido per la maggior parte) funzionano i meccanismi di vergogna, colpa, paura della disconnessione. E' sbagliato immaginare il video come una terapia; tutt'al più è sicuramente un buon punto di partenza per chi ha qualche problema della sfera sociale. Ho letto il libro in lingua originale, ossia in inglese, poiché la versione italiana è pietosa. In ogni caso si capisce tutto perfettamente, è scritto in stile "americano", ossia a prova di beota.

Brené Brown est une perle, je l'adore. C'est un livre qui fait du bien à lire. Surtout quand on a une oh légère tendance au perfectionnisme comme elle. Enfin c'est le genre de livre qui donne une leçon de vie et je suis ravie qu'elle veuille bien partager ses réflexions avec ses lecteurs. Au travers de ce livre, Brené Brown offre une nouvelle perspective pour mieux s'accepter, pour être plus indulgent avec soi-même. Excellent en parallèle d'un travail personnel pour retrouver l'équilibre émotionnel.

Great Book