NEW HARBINGER The Assertiveness Guide for Women: How to Communicate Your Needs, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Transform Your Relationships

Wow if there was ever a book that was supposed to serve as a guide for women for gain any sort of assertiveness in their lives – THIS BOOK IS IT !!! The basic problem for women is that for too long women have allowed their past, specifically their lives as a child, to control who they are today. Dr. Julie de Azevedo Hanks has done a marvelous job in creating a pyramid of information to help women is this predicament, beginning telling what the difference between assertive and not being it. The author’s experience not only as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker [LCSW] but as a Psychotherapist lends itself perfectly to her readers what they need to gain the assertiveness they’re looking for. Instead of merely telling her readers this is what they must do or not do, she asks them to reflective on their lives and to look at the past events they’ve experienced from different angles so they can try to: have more clarity in their lives, more compassion towards others and how to connect with them more effectively, increased calmness when the situations warrant it, and most important an increase in the confidence they have about themselves. In order to attempt this, the book contains exercises which I feel are not to arduous to do. Being a child of the 1950’s, if was a song which would epitomize what this book is trying to do for women, then it would have to be “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy. If you’re not familiar with this song here are some of the lyrics: I am woman, hear me roar In numbers too big to ignore And I know too much to go back an' pretend 'Cause I've heard it all before And I've been down there on the floor No one's ever gonna keep me down again [Chorus:] Oh yes I am wise But it's wisdom born of pain Yes, I've paid the price But look how much I gained If I have to, I can do anything I am strong (strong) I am invincible (invincible) I am woman You can bend but never break me 'Cause it only serves to make me More determined to achieve my final goal And I come back even stronger Not a novice any longer 'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul As you can probably see there’s no way I can’t give this book the 5 STARS it so richly deserves.

Parfait

Has all the pages but they are wonky. I think somethings up with the binding, pages don’t turn well and it’s bent weirdly.

I was not expecting to enjoy this book. I thought it was gonna be filled with technical/business jargons on assertiveness. To my surprise.. I really loved this book. It was clear, easy to read, and helpful. The examples are relatable and the exercises are easy and actionable. I could not put this book down. It's around 200+ pages of ALL relevant information with references. It's nice to read a book from a Psychotherapist that is written for everyday audiences. The author has a way of relaying information without sounding like an 'uppity' doctor, which makes the information much easier to digest. I highly recommend this book to those looking to reflect, understand and improve their ability to communicate feelings/emotions.

Hanks defines communication that is assertive as that which is clear, confident, and self-assured. Also, it involves the courage to express difference. Women need training in this communication because we have generally been socialized to be nice, compliant, and relationship oriented, while boys are generally socialized to be independent and strong and encouraged to speak up. Girls are also historically taught that they should take care of others and be self-sacrificing. Most assuredly, this was my training in the Panhandle of Texas in the 40s and 50s. This book serves as a workbook. At the end of informational sections, she asks questions that invite self-reflection, i.e., What stories are told about you as a young child? How would you describe your relationship with your father? with your mother? She looks at the three styles of attachment and at the three ways of self-expression. A very useful self-help book.