The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved

I first came into contact with Matthew Kelly by purchasing and reading The Dream Manager , a fascinating insight on how people can transform their lives and how we can live this and that we can help others to do the same, especially in the corporate environment. This past Christmas, our Church gave one of Matthew Kelly's books to every family and visitor that celebrated Christmas with us. It was Rediscover Catholicism . Again, Kelly got great reviews from the people. I have bought several other books by him. This current one and The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose , which I first read as audiobooks. There is a lot of similar thinking in all of his books. We all know people suffering in relationships. It could be us! We might be a parent looking to guide our children in forming good relationships. I read up on The Seven Levels of Intimacy and thought "with all the difficulties we are having in marriages and relationships these days, this might have some clues to improve my life and help others also." I was fascinated. I think it has helped me in my dealings with others and has given me food to offer others who might confide in me. Kelly does not stray from the age-old principle that "Love is a decision." It is something we choose to do. It is wanting the best for another person, traditionally said as always seeking the good of another. There was a recent story in the National Catholic Register of a "US Woman to Marry Swiss Guard in Rome" that caught my attention. One of the non-negotiables Miranda Emde was looking for in a man was someone "Who knows how to love and give of himself." There's more if you read the story. But, love is something that one has to want and choose. When he told her his idea of marriage, it clicked with her! I have discussed these ideas with others. I think we need to open our eyes and make conscious choices about who to love and how we will love. Love ultimately is the "gift of self" which has to be done freely and wisely. We don't just settle for someone. This book can walk us through some basics that can help us to think right about this aspect of our lives. In The Rhythm of Life, Kelly speaks about "Everything is a Choice" and then goes into "Do You Really Know What You Want?" He asks this question of an 80-person graduation class. One girl answered, "A man to share my life with." Not having found one, she asked how she will find him. Kelly answered, "the man who wants you to be a better person." But, more specifically, he added: "When you are wondering if he is really the one for you, consider this one idea: You deserve to be cherished. Cherished! Not just loved. Cherished!" He said her eyes welled with tears and he knew she understood. These are just things which have stood out to me as I reflect on this book and the wisdom Matthew Kelly communicates to us. Your response to them will point to whether or not the book(s) will interest you. I have walked away from it different, even in my thinking. I sum it up, "Love is an 'Action' Verb!" It is an action that must come from us.

Life-changing insights for anyone seeking authentic connection! If you’re feeling a bit disconnected or like your conversations have become transactional, please pick this up. It’s a gentle, practical, and deeply spiritual guide to becoming the "best version of yourself" while helping others do the same. Authentic connection is the ultimate spark for a joyful life. This book shows you exactly how to light it. I’ve always believed that joy isn’t just something that "happens" to us; it’s a series of intentional choices we make every day. Matthew Kelly’s The 7 Levels of Intimacy has become one of my favorite "joy-tools" because it shines a light on exactly how to choose connection over isolation. Kelly breaks down human interaction into seven clear stages—from the surface-level "Clichés" and "Facts" to the soul-baring "Legitimate Needs." ~ Reading this felt like someone finally handed me the map to the human heart. Why this book helps us "Choose Joy": • It Replaces Fear with Vulnerability: We often miss out on joy because we’re afraid of being judged. This book shows that the deepest joy is found when we stop hiding and start sharing our true selves. • It Turns Relationships into a Practice: Joy grows in the soil of healthy relationships. By learning to move past "Opinions" and "Feelings" into our "Faults and Fears," we build the kind of trust that sustains us during hard times. • It Teaches "Carefree Timelessness": One of my favorite takeaways! Kelly reminds us that we choose joy when we stop rushing and start making time for the people we love, without an agenda.

Great book! It grabs you quickly and keeps you interested. This is a well written and significant book which everyone should read if they want to learn how to have a good and lasting relationship with anyone. I have purchased 4 books and given them to people that I care about for their benefit. I plan on buying more. I bought two new ones and two used ones. The used ones that I bought were a couple of dollars cheaper and were in good condition, however some of the pages had text that were either sloppily highlighted or underlined in ink with with crooked lines. Just know that the condition isn't just about the book cover condition, which was good (like new) as advertised. Whether to buy new or used all depends on quantity you may want and who the reader might be.

I have bought this book eight times and given all but our first copy away to friends in need. The title is wrong for the content of this book. It will save your relationship of one year or 25. I was in a troubled relationship that ended after three years. I bought the book from the advice of a counselor who told my first wife to read it and then for me to read it and discuss it together. I waited and she would not read it. We divorced and a month later I pulled it out and read it, yes she packed it in my boxes when I left. It was one of the best books I have ever read and had I read it before leaving I would not have left. It takes two in a relationship to make it work but I could have made a difference on my own after reading the book. I remarried and after five years I can spot road bumps and avoid mistakes of the past from the help of this book. It has even helped with the relationship I have with friends and business.

God read with some good insights into relationships, how to build on your current relationship, or for those who are single what to look forward to.

It helped me understand how to relate to my boyfriend and build a healthier relationship. I strongly recommend it! I learned many tools and ways of thinking that I had never been exposed to previously. It's true that our relationships are the most important thing in the world. Love is all that matters in the end. Definitely read this book! You'll learn so much.

Excellent book! Could not expect more from this book.

Excellent description of how to develop relationships if you want them to become meaningful. Valuable for me on various fronts - as a relationship specialist and in my personal relationships. It also helps me understand what went wrong with relationships in my past. Great book!

I read this on holiday and it's really given me a template for looking at my personal relationships and help me understand how to invest more in ways that will bring about genuine closeness.