Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships

This is a well thought out, well organized and very insightful work. In my opinion it is heavy reading. I generally can read a book a week. This one took about 50% longer. There are a number of reasons for this. There is very little white space on any page. The subject matter is new and different and unless you have made a deep study of the brain, its various parts and functions, you will often need to refresh your memory about what the various parts do. Having said that, I would highly recommend the book to anyone who wishes to learn more about why we do what we do. There are some very valuable lessons that have application in everyday life. For example, Goleman talks about how fear in social situations engages the the flight or fight part of the brain, overriding the cognitive part. He gives everyday examples of how this shows up in our daily lives. The teacher randomly calling on students in the classroom can evoke social fear, shutting down the cognitive/learning part of the brain. Goleman deals with numerous other social situations in life - love, anger, empathy, prejudices, crime and punishment. His insights are sharp and easy to understand. Some are real eye-openers. The book is long, some 334 pages with 65 pages of notes. This means that the concepts set forth in the book have been well researched and he provides the sources for those who wish to do additional research on a particular point of view. If you have any interest in why people do what they do, then this is an important book. Just realize that it requires some thought to read and grasp all the concepts put forth in the book.

In this companion volume to his bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, Goleman persuasively argues for a new social model of intelligence. He expresses concern at our creeping disconnection from one another as we connect instead to iPod, computer, and television. Another example of that disconnection is how medicine is being taken over by the "accountant's mentality," which is a disservice to patient and doctor alike. "We are wired to connect," Goleman says. "Neuroscience has discovered that our brain's very design makes it sociable, inexorably drawn into an intimate brain-to-brain linkup whenever we engage with another person. That neural bridge lets us affect the brain-and so the body-of everyone we interact with, just as they do us." Drawing on numerous studies, Goleman examines how our brains are wired for altruism, compassion, concern and rapport. The skills of social intelligence include the social awareness of empathy, listening, and social cognition. He demonstrates how the power of social interaction influences mood and brain chemistry and discusses the "toxicity" of insult and unpleasant social experience and the positive effects of neurochemicals that are released in loving relationships and caregiving. He shows how social sensitivity and wisdom can profoundly reshape conflicts. In one encounter in Iraq, a quick-witted U.S. commander turned a Muslim mob's threats into laughter when he ordered his soldiers to kneel, lower rifles and smile - averting a potentially fatal clash. Given our socially reactive brains, we must "be wise," he says, and be aware of the ways that our moods influence the biology of each life we touch.

This book is a dilemma to review. As it covers most assets of the social human brain in great detail and - no doubt - with enough medical and neurological research to back it up, it is a tough one to read. I found myself struggling through chapters to keep focussed, but after reading it highly motivated with the new knowledge that was acquired. So how can you rate a book like this? From the knowledge perspective it has 5 stars no doubt, but reading should be (a little bit of) fun as well. That department scored a low 2 point with me. On average 3,5 stars, but I will give it the benefit of the doubt. The fact is, that after reading this book you will forget 90% of it instantly. But that 10% which is important stays with you and will give you extra knowledge on the subject that can prove valuable. So if you're looking to spend some time learning this book will provide great value, backed up by some famous neurologists. And, from your own experience, some behaviour will be explained in a scientific manner. All great stuff you can work with after finishing the book. Bottom line comes down to another dillema: SHOULD you want to have everything within your brain explained? As I was happy learning about it, I also am now happy with forgetting about it. What now remains is the knowledge that really mattered to me.

This book brought a lot of good information and insight into perspective. I study people and the mind so a lot of the information in this book, I knew but could never put a name to it, nor did I know the reason behind a lot of it, but this book did a great job in breaking things down and informing me on the part the brain plays in it all. Very well written and easy to understand if you don’t know a lot about brain function or parts of the brain. Very happy I purchased this book. And if you’re big on learning emotional and social intelligence, this book is a must have for the arsenal.

I am a huge fan of Daniel Goleman. He's the bestselling author who coined the term "Emotional Intelligence" with his 1995 book of the same name. Now he's got a new book, "Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships." Social intelligence is the ability to read other people's cues and then act on them. Life is all about relationships, and there is a science to how we relate to each other. It's fascinating to see how Goleman breaks down each aspect of communication. We can learn how to more effectively express ourselves so that we feel understood. And we can learn how to better "read" other people so that we can better understand. This helps to improve our interactions and ultimately strengthen our relationships. He talks about "synchrony" or interacting smoothly at the nonverbal level, which is an important, yet often overlooked, part of relating. Goleman also scientifically explains "the capacity for joy" and how that affects our social intelligence. He shows how our resilience plays an important role in our happiness, which comes into play as we express ourselves to others.

I read Goleman's famous EQ book over 20 years ago and remember having a positive opinion of his thought and writing. I've recently been interested in "social intelligence" in its many forms, and was excited to find a book by that title by an author I remember and like. On receiving the book, I'm pretty disappointed. The topic is as interesting and important as I had imagined: the brain and behavior science of recent decades has shed new insight into how humans are "hard wired" in the brain to synchronize feelings and behaviors across multiple individuals. Hence, from a cognitive sciences perspective, we are now in a position to discuss "social intelligence" -- what is it, how does it function, how can one become more socially intelligent? My qualm with the book is that the presentation is so repetitive, shallow, and downright boring that I find it an unrewarding chore to push onto the next chapter, in hopes that strong insights or implications will eventually appear.. What do I mean? From his earlier books, I think of Goleman as a bright fellow and capable writer. Will he just tell us what he thinks -- what is social intelligence, and why is it important? I would be very interested in that, in fact that's why I purchased the book! But no, the author's perspective doesn't strongly appear, instead there is a meandering journalistic narrative rambling past a huge number of references to scientific publications. Well then about these science pubs, will Goleman concisely synthesize, extract the meat of the findings and most interesting implications, and take advantage of his obviously deep and broad research to present a compelling overarching viewpoint? No, the science is treated in a cursory manner -- we hear that so and so study happened, but only the scientific buzz words or single sentence abstract make it into our text. Most fatiguing, from my viewpoint, is the writer's reliance on a huge number of analogies (we hear again and again of the social intelligence represented in the coordinating behavior of mother and infant, or among musicians, or among romantic couples) and short stories, seemingly put to work in an attempt to make the scientific concepts accessible to the 'lay reader.' Every chapter is cut into thematic sub-chapters, and nearly every sub-chapter begins with an instantly-forgettable story meant to illustrate some aspect of social intelligence. So much non-fiction these days is put forward in the formulaic "tell it with stories" recipe, that people seem to have forgotten the stories actually have to be good for that device to work. Given the presentation challenges in the book, the actual reading experience I find to be hugely repetitive and meandering. Over and over, there are the ideas that our brains influence how we feel, allow us to feel how others feel, and coordinate behavior among people. Not a big surprise, in other words. We add a few cognitive science buzz words to those basic premises, but in over 300 pages, I'm finding little further depth, breadth or nuance. All told, this book reads like an assemblage of many short, okay but not great magazine articles. I will stop there, and actually I feel a bit bad about writing so negatively about the book -- after all, I do like the topic a lot, and I still like Goleman as an author even though I wouldn't call this a good book. For me, the best part of the book is that the references are broad and deep, and the most interesting of those I can follow up on to hopefully find more interesting and useful information. So my 3 star rating: 5 stars for topic and references, and a very unfavorable view of the actual writing. Especially since I like his earlier books, I was quite disappointed in the execution of this one. In the future, I'd like to see someone treat essentially the same subject as appears in this book, but with a much stronger presentation.

"Social Intelligence" is a natural follow on to the ground-breaking "Emotional Intelligence". Reviews of this fine book gush on for hundreds of words. Yes, this is a book that every thinking adult should read. It's that important. WEAKNESSES: You have to endure the Golman's pedantic, somewhat tedious monologue. (I now know more about studies of white mice, children and college students than I care to know.)Hang in there! STRENGTHS: Now comes the gold nuggets. Golman synthesizes these data from some of today's finest researchers and rewards you with stunning insights. His writing is well structured and compelling. SUMMARY: Golman provides the psycho-social basis for good manners -- be open and honest, look people in the eye, smile, encourage others, never resist the opportunity to touch others in emotionally generous ways. Hey, Doc, I think you're on to something. Well done.

Dr. Goleman has written a masterpiece by separating our "Low Brain" from our "High Brain". Using this construct as a common thread he is able to articulate how we have been programmed to sense things "socially" in milliseconds and dialog and writen words in seconds and minutes. The most powerful example used is how people on a common platform, when something is not ordinary,can be quickly calmed down by the simple, social connection of seeing how others are perceiving the event. From that construct we can now all see why it is much easier for us to communicate in person as opposed to reading something or talking on a phone. Furthermore our "High Brain" as we develop can deteriorate the use of our "Low Brain" leaving us less able to effectively communicate socially. Finally he opines that we can retrieve our "Low Brain" awareness and compliment it with our "High Brain" communication by using leaning tools to "Re-Teach" ourselves how to read "Low Brain" signals. And if we don't it is to our own detriment. In the world of emails, twitter and other on-line socializing losing our "Low Brain" skills is more and more likely and will ultimately make it harder and harder to communicate person-to-person.

The delivery occurred on tome, the book was in perfect condition!

Muy buen libro. Muy interesante. Si eres profe es súper útil. Yo lo usé como fuente para mi TFM y genial.

I bought this book long ago. As it is in a bad shape, I bought this book once again.

Great explanation of how the mind works in social situations

Lo recomiendo para quienes se dedican a ventas o quieren mejorar su paradigma de las relaciones sociales.