Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them: How Community Pays Tremendous Dividends in Happiness, Health, Support, and Growth

This is my all time favorite book. Really!!!! I admit I am a super fan of John Ortberg- I think he's a genius as a communicator- but this is my favorite book of his. I have used this book repeatedly in small groups as it leads to great discussions and also teaches what I hope everyone will learn in how to treat people. I quote this book every time I give a talk on marriage, even at professional conferences, because there are so many great and challenging statements and ideas. These quotes are from the Put Down Your Stones chapter- so, so good: "Every word we speak has the power either to give a little life to people or to destroy a little bit of their spirit and vitality." "To accept people is to be FOR them. It is to recognize that it is a very good thing that these people are alive, and to long for the best for them. It does not, of course mean to approve of everything they do. It means to continue to want what is best for their souls no matter WHAT they do." Whoa. This book's focus on community and connection and the longing to love and be loved is universal. Ortberg talks about the urgency of creating unity. Throughout the years since first reading this book my mind continues to return to the description of the unity of the Spirit in the doctrine of the Trinity; so helpful and also so challenging in what this means for how we live. The chapter on the Fellowship of the Mat is one of my all-time favorite chapters- wow. His focus on authenticity and not hiding (called Unveiled Faces) is excellent. You will be challenged in forgiveness, empathy, judging, trusting, and accepting. This book, though written awhile ago, is very timely with all that is going on in the world right now. You will laugh (this book is really funny), you will cringe (this book is really challenging), you even may cry (this book is full of such spiritual and relational truth). I believe (and hope) you will be changed for the better.

This is the second book I've read by John Ortberg, and I look forward to reading more. He writes with wit and charm and boils down what could be a complicated message into a passage that is accessible to anyone. This book in particular seems to strike a nerve with many people, because due to our over-exposure to TV, movies, and other media, we have a preconceived notion of what "normal" is, and beat ourselves (or others) up if we (or they) don't fit that idea of "normal." We have an idea of what is normal and are disappointed when we find out that we (or others) aren't. This is a huge stumbling block to achieving meaningful relationships and community. On page 14, Ortberg states, "When we enter relationships with the illusion that people are normal, we resist the truth that they are not." Once Ortberg tears the mask off of what we think is "normal," he walks the reader through the topics of "True Friendship," "Authenticity," "Acceptance," "Empathy," "Conflict," "Forgiveness," "Confrontation," "Inclusion," and "Gratitude." At times this book was difficult to read, and I did cry a few times, but it has been very helpful in developing my spiritual growth. My only real complaint about this book is that there were just way too many anecdotes. As I was reading, I went through with a highlighter and highlighted the most important points, and the 234 pages of this book could probably be distilled down to about 100. Other than that, great read.

On the recommendation of my OB/GYN (... the things we talk about when we don't want to think about what's going on in real time!), I bought both the audio (I have a long commute) and hard copy presentations. Loaned the book to a friend and can't get it back. Don't get too hung up on some of the author's religious comments. He does have some great insights into human nature and uses illustrations from the Bible. For example, Everybody comes off the clearance table with an "as is" tag.

I enjoyed this book very much. Dr. John Ortberg takes us through Genesis and shows us that the saints of the past were not made of stained glass, they were dysfunctional fallible people like us.Ortberg is a gifted storyteller and expositor. He takes us through the story of the paralyzed man being lowered through the roof by his four friends at the feet of Jesus. He veers a bit into allegory when he talks about the different mats that we hold onto, mats of discouragement and despair and frustration.He talks about the Canaanite woman who begged Jesus to heal her daughter. He reveals that the Canaanite woman had greater faith and compassion than his own disciples at that point.He talks about Nathan's bravery in confronting King David. He talks about the "abnormal" sinful woman who anointed Jesus with perfume and Jesus said that she experienced grace and forgiveness that Simon the host knew nothing about because she loved Christ much.There is a concluding chapter dealing with passages from the book of Revelation which shows what it will be like when someday we will be made whole and "normal" in the kingdom.

Still reading this book, finding it very funny in places where it describes the human condition -- all of us have tendencies to separate from one another or not care about each other. To illustrate the problem of the lack of unity among Christians, Ortberg tells a story about a man shipwrecked alone on an island for 15 years. This man maintained his sanity for all those years alone by building things and creating a life for himself. Finally, when rescuers came, he gave them a tour of all he had done and all his buildings. "What's that over there," someone asked. "Oh, that's where I go to church." There was a similar building close by. "What's that building?" he was asked. "That's where I USED to go to church...."Ortberg maintains this humorous touch and sheds light on what Christians call "fallen nature," inherited and passed on from generation to generation.

I happen to be reading Francis Chan's book, "Until Unity" at the same time. It seems these two books are on much the same subject! Every time I read John 17, I wonder why more sermons aren't from this scripture... it seems so clear!

I have been truly gripped by this book.The effortless and engaging way in which it is written more than compensates for the fact that it is not really about normality. The title is a route into moralistic religious writing of the highest, non-dogmatic standard. That I am an atheist and thoroughly enjoy his many words of wisdom probably says it all. He has had the sense to back up his ideas with appropriate research findings, and these really adds weight to his carefully constructed stories. Parables almost. A fine, enlightening read for all.

Ok

the philosophy and understanding of human nature makes it a book for everyone who needs to develop relationshipsHighly recommended

John Ortberg's words just flow across the page and there's such insight into the human person. I first read "If you Want to Walk on Water, you Need to get out of the Boat" and felt I needed to learn more of what the author had to offer. I believe that non Christians would also benefit from reading this book.

Quite hard going