Growing With: Every Parent's Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future

I have read many other resources created by the Fuller Youth Institute and writers Kara Powell and Steven Argue, and all of their work has been heavily steeped in both research and practical ways to apply their findings. When they announced they were teaming up for Growing With, I knew the book would be another invaluable resource that would give me specific ways to implement effective strategies in our youth group and with my future kids. Growing With did not disappoint—it comes from two experienced parents, youth mentors, and researchers, and it provides clear and data-based explanations for all the tips and recommendations offered. The overarching premise that we need to grow and adapt as parents just as we expect our kids to grow and adapt seems obvious, but this book challenged me to think deeply about my own growth in a new way. Powell and Argue give new language and understanding to general stages of development and the corresponding roles that parents need to fill to best parent their child at every phase of life. Within each phase, they also explain (with useful, practical ideas!) how we can grow together as a family; they turn "with," "faith," and "adult" into verbs and provide examples of how parents can incorporate withing, faithing, and adulting into family routines and norms. Best of all, they leave room for you to apply all of their strategies within your specific context, but they are never condescending or assuming. They understand that parenting is messy and complex, and that the kids in our lives are equally dynamic and complicated. They aren't here to tell you that you are failing as a parent; in fact, they do a great job of sharing their own parenting struggles and encouraging readers in their own challenges. As someone who is expecting a baby this spring, I am so grateful to have this book early in my parenting journey. It's given me a rich understanding of how I can focus on my own growth while adapting to meet the needs of my son as he becomes an adult. But even if you don't have kids, anyone who works with youth or wants to be a meaningful contributor to a church body will benefit from reading this book. I took away tons of ideas for my role as a youth pastor, and I have fresh language to give my congregation about how they can pour into the lives of our young church members. My book is full of highlights, especially in the sections where they list specific tactics or initiatives to try. I am eager to apply these with my own child and with the youth in my church, and I will be returning to this book often!

When it comes to research and ideas on ministry to the next generation, there are few places as well respected as the Fuller Youth Institute. From Sticky Faith to Growing Young, the team at Fuller has helped to shape both churches and families as they seek to pass faith on to the next generation. Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future stands as the next essential resource in which Kara Powell and Steven Argue come alongside parents to share research and strategies on how parents can effectively lead, parent, and disciple their students. Growing With is a parenting book written with the premise that parenting is “a mutual journey of intentional growth for both ourselves and our children that trusts God to transform us all” (p. 17). This parenting approach understands the truth that both parents and students are on a path of their own personal, spiritual, and emotional growth. Both the parent and the student are not the same parent and student that they were this time last year. In approaching parenting from the place of a continual growth, parents begin to realize that things are constantly changing and that parents are to be led first and foremost by God as they seek to lead their kids. Growing With parenting, according to Powell and Argue, is processed through the lenses of “withing,” “faithing,” and “adulting.” “Withing” is defined as “a families growth in supporting each other as children grow more independent” (p. 73). Though many parents struggle with their children becoming more and more independent, Powell and Argue note that “the goal of mature independence is really interdependence: learning that we were made for relationships – made to rely on others’ presence and support in our lives, and to offer our presence and support in return” (p. 74). Through the topic of “withing,” the changing role of parent, sibling, and grandparent relationships is explored in addition to the topics of technology, discipline, stress, divorce, and disagreements are addressed. “Faithing” is defined as “a child’s growth in owning and embodying their own journey with God as they encounter new experiences of information” (p. 135). The growth of faith in the lives of children is further defined as being “about making sense of our spiritual journey, not merely learning more information” (p. 140), seeking “to integrate, not separate, spirituality and life experiences” (p. 140), and “is more than intellectual; it also has relational and emotional qualities” (p. 140). Through “faithing,” parents are seeking to help come alongside students to help them to both understand and incarnate their faith into actions. Through the theme of “faithing,” Powell and Argue discuss the topics of searching for faith, the role of doubt, speaking of faith, sharing your story with your child, church and youth group involvement, and the importance of mentors in a student’s growth in faith. “Adulting” is defined as “a child’s growth in agency as they embrace opportunities to shape the world around them” (p. 199). This segment of the book focuses on the changing relationships between parents and their kids as they grow up. Topics addressed include: dating, friendships, marriage, mission/service projects, career choices, vocation, and college. Fuller Youth Institute has created another great resource for parents through Growing With. By creating a helpful framework through which to process a child’s growth, Powell and Argue have created a way for parents to intentionally think about parenting. By providing thoughtful ideas for application, Growing With provides an idea bank for small group conversations for parents to help engage their kids. By writing from a hope-filled and gospel place, Powell and Argue have reminded parents that they are not alone, that God is for them, and that He is growing them and their kids.

This is a great read for parents of small kids all the way up parents of young adults. It was a quick and easy read and we loved a lot of the information shared in the book.

Working through this book with our teenage daughter.

“Here we go again”, you might be thinking, but Growing With is not just another Christian parenting book offering trite answers or cliché solutions. With teenagers of my own, I have agonized trying to guide them to make wise choices, build a family relationship, and have a vibrant faith. Though my goal has been to provide a bright future for them, we more often seemed to fight than agree. Growing With has changed my perspective of, and approach to, parenting the two young people in my home! Growing With is a research-based guide to parenting a new generations with love, grace, and hope. While it describes the challenges faced by young people 13-30. Instead of giving steps, it encourages authenticity as families journey together. Parents aren’t merely practitioners, but fellow pilgrims – growing with young people – as the title suggests. How parents support independence, model faith, and relinquish control can help young people develop lives of purpose and meaning and grow closer to their families. If you have struggled in a tug of war with a teen or young adult concerning the direction of their future, Growing With will help you to trust God as these young people blaze a new path in a world far different than their parents experienced. Giving up control doesn’t mean giving up connection. Instead, it means offering authentic support, loving example, and patient release. Growing with acknowledges the difficult reality of parenting today, and highlights the importance of continuing the journey long after the typical milestones of graduation or leaving home. This parenting book isn’t about making kids behave or creating the perfect child. It is about the development of families. Parents and kids growing together on the journey of life.

“Growing With” is absolutely brilliant! I’m a veteran youth worker who has been serving in student ministry for over a decade (in the same location). As a youth worker, I trust the resources produced by the Fuller Youth Institute. I trust the voices of Kara Powell and Steve Argue. Kara and Steve are what I would call, “Triple Threats.” They are experienced and seasoned youth workers, they are parents, and they are researchers. “Growing With” encompasses all three of these. I’m so thankful for the work of the Fuller Youth Institute. I’m thankful for voices like Kara and Steve. I’m thankful for Growing With a resource that has already been so powerful for not only me as a youth worker, but also as a parent (with 3 “learners” at home.) If you have teenagers in your home… If you currently have tinier humans who will one day turn into teenagers… If you are a grandparent, aunt uncle, etc… (you have teenagers in your family…or preteens)… If you’re in student ministry… If you work with teenagers or others in the emerging generation… If you care about teenagers and young adults… …get this book.

This book is incredible! I have gained great understanding of how kids are similar & different from previous generations which informs some of the "how's" in connecting with & developing them. The authors (out of their extensive research & experience) have given wonderful tools & guidance for how to engage with our kids as they move through each developmental stage in ways that foster the best outcomes for our kids emotionally, spiritually, vocationally, & relationally as well as in ways that foster deep connections in our families. As our kids grow we often feel it's harder to connect and yet the stakes feel so much higher. This book shows us we can stay connected, we still have a powerful impact in our kids & young adults lives, and what that looks like in each stage. I'm thankful to have this as I parent my learner (15 year old) & explorer (18 year old) & prepare for when they are focusers in the future. I only wish I had this prior to entering the teen years.

I have come to expect great things from everything that Kara and her colleagues produce from Fuller. Growing With is not exception. She and Steven hooked me from the beginning with their first chapter outlining the changes happening to the current generation of teenagers and young adults. As a youth worker in a church, I've bought multiple copies of this to give to parents of teenagers, and I'm planning to use this book for a class some time in the future when I'm a little less busy. As a parent, I've bought another copy for my wife. Our kids are not teenagers yet, but this book is already helping me shift the way I interact with my children.

Great book, in great condition!