---
product_id: 127101972
title: "The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making Kindle Edition"
brand: "jared yates sexton"
price: "$21.61"
currency: USD
in_stock: true
reviews_count: 8
url: https://www.desertcart.us/products/127101972-the-man-they-wanted-me-to-be-toxic-masculinity-crisis
store_origin: US
region: United States of America
---

# The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making Kindle Edition

**Brand:** jared yates sexton
**Price:** $21.61
**Availability:** ✅ In Stock

## Quick Answers

- **What is this?** The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making Kindle Edition by jared yates sexton
- **How much does it cost?** $21.61 with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.us](https://www.desertcart.us/products/127101972-the-man-they-wanted-me-to-be-toxic-masculinity-crisis)

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## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ a moving and candid memoir
*by K***H on January 12, 2024*

"The Man They Wanted Me to Be" explores in a clear, concise manner the subject of its subtitle: "Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making". This discussion is set in the context of a moving and candid memoir by Jared Yates Sexton of his early life, growing up in a southern Indiana small town environment. The members of his family, his schoolmates, friends and acquaintances are all caught up in the social construct of toxic gender roles which had been passed down from generation to generation, and are still being propagated today. In true JYS style, the writing is excellent, and immediately engaging and real. This book should be a "must-read", certainly for all men, but also for their family and friends to both gain insight into this structure that is so common in families, as well as offer hope and true and lasting healing for our culture and nation. Please, please read this book.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A must-read in today’s America
*by B***E on May 12, 2019*

Engagingly written, Sexton moves easily between personal anecdotes and scientific research to underpin his arguments. The book is a deeply personal narrative punctuated by careful and well documented research. The result is a thought-provoking look at what it means to be an American male at this tumultuous time in our history.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reporter, Victim, Critic, Spy
*by R***R on July 25, 2019*

A solid, if uneven and diffuse book. If you're like me--a non-white, non-straight, highy-educated person living in Western culture--you are not the target audience for this book. Pretty much ninety-five percent of what Jared Yates Sexton conveys in The Man They Wanted Me to Be is well-known to those of us who don't classify as SWGs (straight white guys). After the election of Trump, the details of this book are pretty much wallpaper to our angry, traumatized minds. But redundancy, in this case, is not a bad thing. Sexton, as someone who, whether he likes it or not, is in this group but definitely not of this group or a champion of its poisonous ethos, intends this book for the men like him who, as he points out, are destroying the nation, the culture, democracy, and themselves. Sexton is trying to save his brethren so he can, in his own way, save the culture.The Man They Wanted Me to Be does some good work. In this slim book, Sexton gives readers a gadfly's view into the countless torments he faced throughout his life as a SWG who, for various reasons, just didn't fit the mold of traditional masculinity, what many people now rightly refer to as toxic masculinity. I can relate. Though there are only slight modifications, black men, and men of other races and ethnicities, are forced to endure the same tests and trauma. Witnessing a succession of losers, including his own father, abuse his mother and him made Sexton the prime author of a text that critiques the tenets, challenges, and grizzly permutations of modern manhood within a zeitgeist of feminism, civil rights, queer rebellion, and immigration debates that take a power drill to the very foundations of traditional Western masculinity. Sexton notably points to the ways men in America born and raised after World War Two succumbed to the propagandistic myths of manhood funneled down to them through cinema (I love his critique of Patton, both the Academy Award-winning film and the man), risky sex, combat sports, misogyny, conspiracy theories, and opportunistic politicians. Sexton knows his target audience and he's not afraid to call them and their forebears out on the heinous crap they've done--like voting for Trump--that have widespread ramifications for men and women around the globe. The most satisfying section of the book for me was the final chapters where Sexton takes morons like Alex Jones and Jordan Peterson to task, exposing them for the hucksters they truly are. I applaud Sexton for that.Yet the book is not without flaws. Technically, The Man They Wanted Me to Be is not a smooth, cohesive book. Frankly, it's disjointed. Sexton is trying hard to blend memoir, sociology, history, politics, and current events in this book, yet the result is a stew that, while nourishing, isn't particularly toothsome. While he never lacks conviction, passion, or authority, Sexton falters in his book's presentation. If he could have found a way to be more fluid, to organize this book in way that elevated it, this would have been an exceptional expose', one to partner Hillbilly Elegy, the new de facto book on poor Caucasians and their myriad socioeconomic struggles and resulting prejudices. However, I felt this book aimed low, giving informed readers like me material we were already well aware of. I found the writing neutral and unpolished, yet I think that's what Sexton was aiming for. He knows that the audience he needs to reach, those die hard Trumpers, won't cotton to high-falutin academic speak or SAT words. They want real stories, plain talk, and a SWG like him to give this book to them without frills, stats, or BS. I applaud Sexton for writing specifically to his audience, but I wish he had done a little bit more for woke folks like me. Still, you can't have everything, and Sexton's book succeeds if only in its raw punch-to-the-gut honesty.

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*Product available on Desertcart United States of America*
*Store origin: US*
*Last updated: 2026-03-16*