--- product_id: 12403272 title: "Like Family: Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir" price: "$4.49" currency: USD in_stock: false reviews_count: 13 url: https://www.desertcart.us/products/12403272-like-family-growing-up-in-other-peoples-houses-a-memoir store_origin: US region: United States of America --- # Like Family: Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir **Price:** $4.49 **Availability:** ❌ Out of Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** Like Family: Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir - **How much does it cost?** $4.49 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Currently out of stock - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.us](https://www.desertcart.us/products/12403272-like-family-growing-up-in-other-peoples-houses-a-memoir) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description An astonishing memoir from the author of The Paris Wife and When the Stars Go Dark , detailing the years Paula McLain and her two sisters spent as foster children after being abandoned by both parents in California in the early 1970s. "Demonstrates the true meaning of family." — Chicago Tribune As wards of the State, the sisters spent the next 14 years moving from foster home to foster home. The dislocations, confusions, and odd pleasures of an unrooted life form the basis of one of the most compelling memoirs in recent years. A book the tradition of Jo Ann Beard's The Boys of My Youth and Mary Karr's The Liar's Club . McLain's beautiful writing and limber voice capture the intense loneliness, sadness, and determination of a young girl both on her own and responsible, with her siblings, for staying together as a family. Review: Inspirational Journey - What constitutes a family? Biological connections that are severed early on? Or the strangers who provide a kind of care for years, with no connection other than the physical proximity of living in the same house? The author describes her journey through the foster care system in Fresno County in the 1970s and 1980s, and as she mentioned streets and places within the city and its surrounding areas, it all resonated with me. I had spent almost those same years as a social worker for Fresno County, and while I had not crossed paths with her or her sisters, Teresa and Penny, I could relate to much of what she wrote. However, my perspective came from the “other side” of the story. The side that represented the system, which I can readily acknowledge to be broken. Or at least severely damaged. I had heard similar stories from the children in care, but in this author’s case, she kept most things secret. She did mention telling a neighbor some of her experiences, only to be dismissed. As the years passed, there were good times for the sisters, and there were seemingly ordinary coming-of-age moments, but the lack of an emotional connection to a parent was keenly absent. The sisters did share a strong bond with each other that lasted through their time in care…and afterwards, when they finally reconnected with their biological mother. But again, physical proximity seemed to be the main connection between the long absent mother and the sisters. Like Family: Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir was an all too familiar tale to those of us who have worked in the system. Reading this story from a real life “graduate” of that system was inspirational. It is a testament to the author’s strength and resilience that she made it through to the other side, and can now share what she has learned along the way. 5 stars. Review: well written, seemingly objective - This memoir is a well written, seemingly objective account of what it was like growing up as a foster child, albeit a child with two sisters who went with her to each foster home, four in all. Her Dad put her in the foster system, but she maintained contact with her birth relatives, even being taken to spend one weekend a month with her grandmother at one period. She later got to live with her father and former babysitter, whom she loved, for 3 months before the father was arrested. To my surprise, only one of the foster homes was motivated by money; Paula was already an adult when, after overhearing a conversation, it occurred to her that money might be a motivation for fostering. Paula did not suffer any kind of material privation, just the opposite, until passing out of the system, and putting herself through college. In one home she suffered sexual abuse which led to bed wetting and nightmares, although it was not the worst kind of sexual abuse. From age 8 on, she and her sisters were with one family. The “mother” clearly had major issues, had strict rules which did not always make any sense, could be abusive, and was never in the least loving. The “father” was close to being a real father until Paula’s adolescence, when they grew apart: at that time he developed some sexual interest in the sisters, and once tried to French kiss Paula under the guise of instructing her. Whether this was the whole problem was not clear; perhaps the fact that he did not advocate for them with his wife came to play a role, or even the kind of teenage rebellion which is not uncommon. It is sad that the “father” did not receive more of an emotional reward. When Paula moved to Michigan, she saw him for the last time when she came over to “borrow” a suitcase, and he had previously given her and a sister $500 when they needed rent money. The sisters were not always close. Paula later reflects: “I realized how misguided I had been to feel, for a decade or more, so separate from my sisters. Every time I had to endure a sleepless first night in another new room, I could, because a few feet away, or behind a thin wall, my sisters were curled.” While the sisters seemed to have turned out well, and apparently close, the lack of love and sense of belonging still “haunted” Paula as an adult. I would have hoped for even more of an epilogue than there was (the epilogue was not named as such). I can add one fact: when Paula was 48 she was vacationing with one of sisters and the sister’s finance (this came up because the fiancée recommended to Paula a non-fiction book which inspired her novel “Circling the Sun”, a novel I enjoyed). ## Features - Used Book in Good Condition ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #426,471 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #164 in Adoption (Books) #437 in Social Work (Books) #588 in Dysfunctional Families (Books) | | Customer Reviews | 4.0 out of 5 stars 760 Reviews | ## Images ![Like Family: Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71dkBNeZ5sL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Inspirational Journey *by L***W on January 1, 2016* What constitutes a family? Biological connections that are severed early on? Or the strangers who provide a kind of care for years, with no connection other than the physical proximity of living in the same house? The author describes her journey through the foster care system in Fresno County in the 1970s and 1980s, and as she mentioned streets and places within the city and its surrounding areas, it all resonated with me. I had spent almost those same years as a social worker for Fresno County, and while I had not crossed paths with her or her sisters, Teresa and Penny, I could relate to much of what she wrote. However, my perspective came from the “other side” of the story. The side that represented the system, which I can readily acknowledge to be broken. Or at least severely damaged. I had heard similar stories from the children in care, but in this author’s case, she kept most things secret. She did mention telling a neighbor some of her experiences, only to be dismissed. As the years passed, there were good times for the sisters, and there were seemingly ordinary coming-of-age moments, but the lack of an emotional connection to a parent was keenly absent. The sisters did share a strong bond with each other that lasted through their time in care…and afterwards, when they finally reconnected with their biological mother. But again, physical proximity seemed to be the main connection between the long absent mother and the sisters. Like Family: Growing Up in Other People's Houses, a Memoir was an all too familiar tale to those of us who have worked in the system. Reading this story from a real life “graduate” of that system was inspirational. It is a testament to the author’s strength and resilience that she made it through to the other side, and can now share what she has learned along the way. 5 stars. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ well written, seemingly objective *by A***1 on August 17, 2023* This memoir is a well written, seemingly objective account of what it was like growing up as a foster child, albeit a child with two sisters who went with her to each foster home, four in all. Her Dad put her in the foster system, but she maintained contact with her birth relatives, even being taken to spend one weekend a month with her grandmother at one period. She later got to live with her father and former babysitter, whom she loved, for 3 months before the father was arrested. To my surprise, only one of the foster homes was motivated by money; Paula was already an adult when, after overhearing a conversation, it occurred to her that money might be a motivation for fostering. Paula did not suffer any kind of material privation, just the opposite, until passing out of the system, and putting herself through college. In one home she suffered sexual abuse which led to bed wetting and nightmares, although it was not the worst kind of sexual abuse. From age 8 on, she and her sisters were with one family. The “mother” clearly had major issues, had strict rules which did not always make any sense, could be abusive, and was never in the least loving. The “father” was close to being a real father until Paula’s adolescence, when they grew apart: at that time he developed some sexual interest in the sisters, and once tried to French kiss Paula under the guise of instructing her. Whether this was the whole problem was not clear; perhaps the fact that he did not advocate for them with his wife came to play a role, or even the kind of teenage rebellion which is not uncommon. It is sad that the “father” did not receive more of an emotional reward. When Paula moved to Michigan, she saw him for the last time when she came over to “borrow” a suitcase, and he had previously given her and a sister $500 when they needed rent money. The sisters were not always close. Paula later reflects: “I realized how misguided I had been to feel, for a decade or more, so separate from my sisters. Every time I had to endure a sleepless first night in another new room, I could, because a few feet away, or behind a thin wall, my sisters were curled.” While the sisters seemed to have turned out well, and apparently close, the lack of love and sense of belonging still “haunted” Paula as an adult. I would have hoped for even more of an epilogue than there was (the epilogue was not named as such). I can add one fact: when Paula was 48 she was vacationing with one of sisters and the sister’s finance (this came up because the fiancée recommended to Paula a non-fiction book which inspired her novel “Circling the Sun”, a novel I enjoyed). ### ⭐⭐⭐ Great Childhood Reminiscences, but Doesn't Really Come Together *by A***R on March 26, 2015* I loved the first 80 or so pages of this memoir, and I hope I'm not doing it a disservice by only assigning 3 (really 3 and a half!) stars. It is well-written and rich in detail about a Fresno childhood in the 1970s and 80s. But the subtitle, Growing Up in Other People's Houses, leads you to believe that the foster-care journey will continue throughout the author's childhood -- or at least, throughout the book! In fact, it's over for her by age 8, when she and her sisters find a family that raises them to adulthood. And although McLain is superb at recalling her feelings and attitudes as a child, she never really tackles the larger questions about her final foster family, as well as about her birth mother. The first few chapters describe the three sisters' rocky and rapid progress through a series of unsatisfactory foster homes, following the separate disappearances of their mother and father when the oldest of the three children is just 4 or 5. The pain and loneliness and sheer embarrassment of walking into a new house with new rules and a new dynamic are beautifully described by McLain. The three sisters' closeness and their very limited understanding of what is happening (they must leave one idyllic home because, they are told, their foster parents have to move for work, but later the girls realize that they haven't moved at all, and never learn what happened) are evoked perfectly by McLain. But once the girls find their final placement, with an offbeat couple who buy the girls horses, take them on trips, and generally act like parents (or so it seems to the reader), McLain is less successful at describing why she and her sisters never really feel at home. The foster mother is a rather remote German woman, but the father is a very involved, fun parent who is always launching new projects and schemes. As the girls grow, we learn a lot about their typically tumultuous adolescent years, but we never get why things are so bad with the foster parents that McLain leaves at 19 and never sees them again, not even returning when they are dying. Yet this seems the very heart of the problem of foster care: the inability to bond, after being shunted around too much. And it would seem to be exactly what McLain is trying to communicate in this memoir. The other issue is her relationship with her birth mother, who returns after the children are out of high school and just beginning life on their own. Predictably, they all reunite to try to make a life together. But we don't really know, behind anecdotal incidents, what that relationship turned out to be. The final pages describe each of the sisters' relationship with her mother as McLain sees it, but we're never shown it, so it doesn't feel real to us. I enjoyed this book tremendously and think it needed to be written, but I wish the second half had been as illuminating and detailed as the first. --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.us/products/12403272-like-family-growing-up-in-other-peoples-houses-a-memoir](https://www.desertcart.us/products/12403272-like-family-growing-up-in-other-peoples-houses-a-memoir) --- *Product available on Desertcart United States of America* *Store origin: US* *Last updated: 2026-10-02*